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I deleted two from the list, not proper. enjoy !!!!
Puns for Educated Minds…
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: “You stay here; I'll go on a head.”
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”
15.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I've lost my electron.” The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I'm positive.”
25. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Hi Princess,
Why wasn't number 25 put instead at number 11?
God bless
Ed J
http://www.holycitybiblecode.orgdidn't change the format, just removed the sentence.
and by the by where have you been, KJ had a perfectly good post, all kinds of numbers in it. I so much wanted to hear your comments on the matter. Would have been quite interesting.
Quote (princess @ July 30 2011,14:39) didn't change the format, just removed the sentence. and by the by where have you been, KJ had a perfectly good post, all kinds of numbers in it. I so much wanted to hear your comments on the matter. Would have been quite interesting.
Hi Princess,Thanks for thinking about me.
God bless
Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.orgQuote (princess @ July 29 2011,07:45) 13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 
Keepers
Their marriage was good, their dreams focused.. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress; lawn mower in his hand, and dish-towel in hers.. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.
It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, repainting, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.
But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more. Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away ….never to return. So ..While we have it ….its best we love it … And care for it …. And fix it when it's broken …. And heal it when it's sick.
This is true ….For marriage … And old cars …. And children with bad report cards ….. Dogs and cats with bad hips … And aging parents … And grandparents, aunts and uncles and friends. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.
Some things we keep. Like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special … And so, we keep them close in heart and mind and spirit.”
I received this from someone who thinks I am a 'keeper', so I've sent it to the people I think of in the same way.
Now it's your turn to send this to those people who are 'keepers' in your life.
Good friends are like stars … You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
Thinking about you – miss you, hope you are okay.Pierre
Pierre! At this time, when we are at the end of our days…. and then find out that one of our loved ones might die, it brought tears to my eyes….. Thank you for it….please pray for our Daughter-In-Law Debbie, She is looking at a bad time to come…… She has a growth under Her Armpit and it is cancer…… details are on the prayer tread…..
Quote (Pastry @ Sep. 10 2011,16:16) Pierre! At this time, when we are at the end of our days…. and then find out that one of our loved ones might die, it brought tears to my eyes….. Thank you for it….please pray for our Daughter-In-Law Debbie, She is looking at a bad time to come…… She has a growth under Her Armpit and it is cancer…… details are on the prayer tread…..
Ireneyes you right ,but I see it this way ,if someone dies young he only be judged for that time he was here ,what is important is to have the true faith in God ,”live or die is irrelevant,”it is our emotions that give us the sentiment that it is important,
what ever we think and do we do it for Gods glory,this is to me important,
Pierre
Quote (terraricca @ Sep. 15 2011,15:36) but I see it this way ,if someone dies young he only be judged for that time he was here
Pierre,I also console myself with that exact thought anytime I hear of a person dying young – especially a child.
I'm pretty sure that children who die young will be automatically judged favorably by Christ, because they've had so little time to knowingly do anything against God.
If my 10 year old son were to die, as heartbroken as I would be in this life, I would still praise God because I would know in my heart of hearts that he will he will be chosen for everlasting life. Because, up until now, he's done nothing but love God, accept Jesus as his Savior, and accept God's Kingdom like a child.
Irene, I will pray for God's will to be done concerning Debbie.
peace and love,
mikePierre! The sting of death are with the ones that are left behind…. Not the one that dies…. For them I do agree with you… but for our Son it will be hard…. however She is not looking at Bone Cancer, they ruled that out too. The cancer is in the armpit only…. She is very lucky and prayers have been answered…. Peace and Love Irene
Quote
Irene, I will pray for God's will to be done concerning Debbie.peace and love,
mikeThank you Mike for your prayers, Debbie is fine so far…. She still is looking at an Operation, but at least it didn't spread…. Peace and Love Irene
Quote (princess @ July 30 2011,00:45) I deleted two from the list, not proper. enjoy !!!! Puns for Educated Minds…
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: “You stay here; I'll go on a head.”
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”
15.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I've lost my electron.” The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I'm positive.”
25. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Great puns, if you recycled them, you could make a lot of money and live in a fairy tale, for repunzel.Quote (Pastry @ Sep. 16 2011,17:46) Pierre! The sting of death are with the ones that are left behind…. Not the one that dies…. For them I do agree with you… but for our Son it will be hard…. however She is not looking at Bone Cancer, they ruled that out too. The cancer is in the armpit only…. She is very lucky and prayers have been answered…. Peace and Love Irene
Irenethere is no sting of death ,because there is no dead,until the judgment day ,wen we will stand before God and his son,
for the ones that have not run out there time here yet ,they will see loved ones go ,but just as Jesus said they are asleep for now ,
this is the reason to look forward to the prize ,the promise of Christ to have live in the better world ,a world that only can be seen by our faith in God for now but soon it will be true and we will be living in it ,I believe that I can not add time to my live and running to extended by means extraordinaire is not improving the quality of that live,God has given me the body and health that I have now ,I will go this way in the grave ,I know wen I am gone ,it will be hard to those I leave behind ,but I told them I am just waiting on the other side ,
my mother ,father are gone and now it is me the next in line ,
so may Jesus return come and so end this misery,love you all of your in Christ
Pierre
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