Mikeangel's Journey continues

[mikeangel]

Hold firmly to the truth, encourage by sound doctrine, & refute those who oppose it.

I just wanted to emphasize that.

[Ed J]

Hi Mark,

How about alcohol? Have you quit using alcohol?-Ed

I poured out my heart in this testimonial, and this is what you wrote to me, right off the bat. You haven’t changed in five years Ed, and you proved that yourself. Your a legend in your own judgmental mind . I yelled that day after you threw all you judgements at me, I couldn’t believe it and was let down.

Since you think evil was separated from Jesus from the cross, then have you asked him if he quit making , using and serving alcohol also?

Hi Mark,

“strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason
of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” (Heb 5:14)

You pull stuff out of context and haven’t a clue of what is being said.
In the book Holy City Bible Code, I go into great detail giving a more
complete picture of what you pulled out of context and are misquoting.

Now back to your testimonial

[Ed J]

Hi Mark,

How about alcohol? Have you quit using alcohol?-Ed

I poured out my heart in this testimonial, and this is what you wrote to me, right off the bat. You haven’t changed in five years Ed, and you proved that yourself. Your a legend in your own judgmental mind. I yelled that day after you threw all you judgements at me, I couldn’t believe it and was let down.

Hi Mark,

In previous testimonials (I believe) you have said that you had a problem with cocaine

And here I quote you as saying:
“My neighbor asked me if I had started using cocaine. I was not.”

The problem isn’t with the drugs so much,
but who it is that is whispering in the mind thoughts of incorrectness.

As I said before, when we talked it was late, and I had merely asked
if you were going to be able to keep the meeting early the same morning.

The rest of what you believed happened was whispered into your mind by a spirit.
Because an associate of mine consumed large amounts of alcohol and most people
didn’t even know this because his behavior was stable throughout the day.
He could even drive at three and four times the legal limit.

What I see is: in one instance you want to blame a drug for problems that occurred,
and in another similar but different set of circumstance you attach no blame.

I see this as being inconstant
because I really don’t care if you drink or not or even how much

Satan has lied to you my friend
And I suggest you loose the judgmental attitude before it destroys you

________________
God bless
Ed J

[Ed J]

“Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.” (Prov 27:5-7)

[mikeangel]

Ed your arrogance and self glorification speak for themselves. Cocaine was 25 years ago and only lasted a little while until God woke me up. I was being honest when I stated that. You take care man. Peace

[Miia]

In June of 1999, I was riding through my favorite forest park near Memphis Tn. I was crying incessantly. I was so beaten and confused and lost. My wife had committed suicide a few weeks before after a 15 year rough ride of Manic Depression and demon possession and suicide attempts and money spending. My two daughters were blaming me because I had filed for a divorce and she did it after she was served the papers. Her brother had also told them it was my fault, because I signed the papers to pull the plug when she was declared brain dead.  I owned a painting and contracting company and had tried to go to work a few days later, but was emotionally broken. I literally could not take another step. I wasn’t suicidal, but I was despondent.  I was praying and begging God to kill me. I had sworn to my daughter that I wouldn’t do what Momma did but I could not see how my life would go on. I got to the part of the drive in the Forest that is called the “one way”, a scenic part that is narrow and curvy and goes along a few bluffs with drop offs. I forget exactly what I was doing besides crying at that moment, when from somewhere right behind my head, like on the back of my head between my ears, I heard, “Let go of the wheel”.  I brushed it off and kept going, although I was surprised and confused by it, and quit crying. I started crying again and I heard again “let go of the wheel”. So many people over the weeks before had asked me if I was ok, and I was maintaining and putting one foot in front of the other, but I almost fell apart over this. I screamed at God something like, ” You know what I have been through and how I am falling apart, why are you pushing me over the edge?!!!” Wide eyed I kept going, came to the end of the one way, and made it to the part of the park where it overlooks the Mississippi River and has a boat ramp and parking lot. I got out of the truck and knelt down and took a deep breath, and I heard “I’m not talking about your truck, I’m talking about your life”.

After her suicide and the things that went with it, I was very alone. I dated alot of women who were not good. I begged God to send me someone good and Christian.I met a good Christian woman whos husband had deserted her. On the first date she told me she had three teenage girls. With my two that made 5, all with huge issues. The hormone holocaust was hard but nothing compared to living with my first wife. Business took off and we were successful and blessed. My oldest moved out and her oldest moved out and life got really nice. Then the second hardest thing I’ve ever went though happened. My dad was my anchor. He was Godly and taught me hard work and humility and not to follow the crowd. And then he died. I was raised Catholic by him and was very active in the Church right up until his death. For some reason, after he died, I felt free to investigate the problems I had with the church doctrine (the ones I knew about). He died 6/07, and I started reading the Bible cover to cover starting that July.  Then, about the first week in August that year, I went on a little spiritual trip with God. The first few days were incredible. A feeling you cannot explain of complete euphoria while looking at the stars, and just existing. I could not sleep. My neighbor asked me if I had started using cocaine. I was not. And  it happened. Sitting on the back of my truck, looking up at the stars, watching a meteor shower, that voice came again. Like the last time, right between the back of my ears behind my head. It simply said, “It’s about to get bad, you need to get ready”. I told my wife about it and told her we needed to market the house, immediately. So she told my family what happened and they all had me go to a Psycologist who perscribed me sleeping pills and anti-depressants. But I know what I heard and felt. I was compliant, because I knew how it must have seemed to all of them, and even took the medicine foe a little while ( I weened off of it shortly after), Maintained my Company and composure, and kept begging my wife to sell the house. She finally agreed by that winter, and we sold the big house in early 2008, and moved into a little foreclosure we had bought on the courthouse steps. A few weeks later the economic do do hit the fan. For sale signs went up everywhere and prices went through the floor. My work also went through the floor. One month in the summer of 2009 I had 3 calls. Not Jobs, just phone calls. My wife had been a housekeeper and manager for a rich family, and we knew she would have to get another job because of his age, so we got tuition assistance and sent her to school and lived off of the equity.  That next spring, in 2010, two weeks before my wife was going to have to quit her part time housekeeping job from the rich man to go to school full time, he died. The timing was unreal. (well, nothing is coincidence)

In the summer of 2009, I had alot of time on my hands, and a lot of spiritual questions and research I was doing. I was getting nowhere with the Catholic church and the things that I was wanting answers to. Then, Another thing happened. I had read all of the Bible and wanted more. I had discovered the Book of Enoch and the quote from Jude referencing it. So I had a thirst for reading it, and searched online for it, and found it on this site. I read it and really enjoyed it. It filled in alot of blanks for me like where the fall of the angles  came from and such. And then I discovered the Forums. Oh wow. Good and bad came from that. I had lots of time to spend debating scriptures and doctrines. I met alot of colorful people with all kinds of opinions of “The truth”.My favorite was Shimmer. She didn’t agree with me on some things but was always nice and not mean spirited like some seemed to be. At times I seemed to get drug into the pit and was not loving at all. She put her differences in a nice way. I won’t get obsessed with hashing out multiple beliefs of God again. I begged God to guide me, and that was part of it. One lady I will say the one person that changed my life there was “irene”. She had been Catholic too and had left the church over questions too. She also showed me how I was participating in an “abomination” as she put it and said all Catholics were lost. Very Judgemental. But, with an open mind, I researched what she said and found that she was right about the main thing they profess as “truth”, the sacrifice of the mass, and the statues, and the “veneration” of Mary, etc. etc.  So I was thrown into another loop. After much debating on here and prayerful reading of the Bible, I decided to do what Jesus asked for, to show mercy to my neighbor as serving him and his Father. I still feed homeless downtown. I help with a non-denominational church at a nursing home. They even get me to give the message twice a month. I love it. It took a while to get used to the screams once in a while from a confused elderly person, or the smell of “accidents” when I go onto some rooms, but I feel like its real service and worship, and what God wants from me in scripture. I do miss regular church where I grew up sometimes. I go on occasion. I went last Wednesday to Ash Wednesday service with my family. I’m all about the repentance and ashes, not so much on the sacrificing or rituals. The first part of the mass is ok with me, its scripture. The last half I just prayed, “Forgive them Lord, they do not know what they are doing, and forgive me, a sinner”. Peace and love to all. I’m glad you were part of my Journey, and are part of it when I have time. Shimmer, if  your still out there, contact me. I miss you

Let’s get back to topic here.

@Mikeangel, I respect your openness.

For those who don’t know, I used to post as shimmer (ha ha, sometimes I miss that name). Miia is a kind of form of my real name.

I was diagnosed with something called Social Anxiety Disorder decades ago. I was cured with a drug 15 years ago. I went off the drug after one year, and remained drug-free. It was not easy.

Several years ago God came into my life (revealed himself to me). Most amazing time in my entire life. I searched for reason – why are we here? Who is this God? Etc. I had visions. I heard God (not audibly but in my mind). I love God and His Son, more than anything ever. I felt God’s LOVE, I will never forget that.

All was well, until I went through a crisis of faith a few years ago.

Recently I have felt closer to God again. Amen.

I also sought the help of a psychiatrist four weeks ago I was once again diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. Apparently it is the third most common mind illness, and it is completely curable through so called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and sometimes medication. I will be starting the same medication on Monday. I hope to get a life again. I want to be an Aide worker/ missionary in the Middle East.

If Mark can be open, what the heck.

 

[Ed J]

Hi Mark,

Miia says it is not good to meet (in person) those you met on the internet.

I did not believe her, because I met “Trevor and Ruth R” from Australia
on the internet,and later I had a wonderful time with them, meeting
up with them ata Prophecy conference 2 hrs drive from my house.
.
But after you were yelling at me on the phone, I was glad you called off
our meeting. But I’m also glad you are now discussing the matter
with me in a reconciliatory manor. (ref. to Matthew 5:23-24)

_________________
God bless
Ed J

If Mark and his family wanted to meet me, I would happily:)

Hi Miia,

What if he instead said he wanted to talk by phone, would you do that?

Hi Miia,

You still have not answered my question, will you please do so?

“Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess
also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me
before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 10:32-33)

_______________
God bless
Ed J

[Author]

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