- This topic is empty.
- Posts
Karmarie, thank you so much for your post! You are the very first person who has experienced what I have gone trough! And yes, when those feelings of being so close to God go away, it is terrifying! It's like being a tiny baby whose father ran off! And yes, it does make us desperate to be close to Him again.
I am starting to think that God KNEW what I would be going through, and how shaky my faith is with all my health problems causing moods to go up and down. So He gave me those wonderful feelings of closeness and love, the visions, the dreams of Jesus, etc…….
So I would have something to REMEMBER and fall back on when I am going through this “valley of the shadow of death”, so to speak.
I was like you-I turned to different doctrines, and believed that I had to do things to please God. I still struggle with this……
Satan put me through the ringer too, telling me that I was not saved over and over.
But this (I can't remember if I already posted this) helped me….I'm reading “Pilgrim's Progress”, and Christian is going through the Valley of the Shadow of death, and he does not feel God's presence at all….all he hears is demons cussing God out. He does not know if the voices are inside his own head or not!
And this is what I struggle with too-the cussing in my head, cussing God out. I have talked to many other Christians who have that too, and I am learning to SEPARATE those voices from what the Bible says.
Another story in the Bible has helped me a lot. It's the story of Jesus talking to his Disciples about eating His flesh and drinking His blood (symbolicly of course),and they said that it was too hard of a teaching, and many left.
Jesus looked at His remaining disciples and said…..”Do you also want to leave Me?” Peter said….”No Lord-where would we go? You have the keys to eternal life!”
This verse gets me every time I am struggling so hard and almost give up fighting. It's like I see Jesus looking at me, saying….”Do you also want to leave Me?”
I picture Him asking me that question, with love in His eyes. I KNOW that He has the keys to eternal life!
There is no choice BUT to follow Him!
As for the other questions…hope I can remember them! No, I do not have a mentor. I really wish I did, because I have reall been lost…..
No one helped me understand about faith verses works. I go in church, and everyone is SO far ahead of me spiritually. I get confused and forgetful so easily.
But anyway, I'm hanging in there, and trying my best to focus on Jesus, whatever that really means. lol
Greetings Maranatha……Iam sixty one years old and I have been down the same road, things start to get better when you realize God will help those who help themselves,the peace and tranquility you seek is ever evasive, you have to fight for it,…What ever church you attend, understand one thing, there is no one spiritually ahead of you or anyone else for that matter…The purpose of the church is for spiritual guidence and correction with an emphasis on worship and through worship comes favor…
Be patient….I know the feeling…Help is on the way…Maranatha,God is pure undescribable love and safety, absolutly nothing like anything down here. We are here in this world, amongst badness and evil, so scared! Our father is anxious every moment wanting to take us under his wings. We are not alone. God is there, watching. Waiting. And soon we will be back with God ! So safe.
God bless you Maranatha! You are very special and treasured by God.
Love karmarie.
Love, karmarie.
> > What Goes Around, Comes Around
> >
> > The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer
> > things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a
> > meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of
> > him,
> > like so many others had done before..
> >
> > “Leave me alone,” he growled… To his amazement, the woman continued
> > standing. She was smiling — her even white teeth displayed in dazzling
> > rows.
> >
> > “Are you hungry?” she asked. “No,” he answered sarcastically. “I've just
> > come from dining with the president. Now go away.”
> >
> > The woman's smile became even broader.
> >
> > Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. “What are you doing,
> > lady?” the man asked angrily. “I said to leave me alone.”
> >
> > Just then a policeman came up. “Is there any problem, ma'am?” he asked.
> >
> > “No problem here, officer,” the woman answered. “I'm just trying to get
> > this
> > man to his feet. Will you help me?”
> >
> > The officer scratched his head. “That's old Jack. He's been a fixture
> > around
> > here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?”
> >
> > “See that cafeteria over there?” she asked. “I'm going to get him
> > something
> > to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.”
> >
> > “Are you crazy, lady?” the homeless man resisted. “I don't want to go in
> > there!” Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.
> >
> > “Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.”
> >
> > “This is a good deal for you, Jack,” the officer answered. “Don't blow
> > it.”
> >
> > Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got
> > Jack
> > into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the
> > middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and
> > the lunch bunch had not yet arrived.
> >
> > The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. “What's
> > going on here, officer?” he asked. “What is all this, is this man in
> > trouble?”
> >
> > “This lady brought this man in here to be fed,” the policeman answered.
> >
> > “Not in here!” the manager replied angrily. “Having a person like that
> > here
> > is bad for business.”
> >
> > Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. “See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll
> > let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place.”
> >
> > The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. “Sir, are you
> > familiar
> > with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?”
> >
> > “Of course I am,” the manager answered impatiently. “They hold their
> > weekly
> > meetings in one of my banquet rooms.”
> >
> > “And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly
> > meetings?”
> >
> > “What business is that of yours?”
> >
> > I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.”
> >
> > “Oh..”
> >
> > The woman smiled again. “I thought that might make a difference.”
> >
> > She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a laugh. “Would you like to
> > join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?”
> >
> > “No thanks, ma'am,” the officer replied. “I'm on duty.”
> >
> > “Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?”
> >
> > “Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice.”
> >
> > The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. “I'll get your coffee for you
> > right away, officer.”
> >
> > The officer watched him walk away. “You certainly put him in his place,”
> > he
> > said.
> >
> > “That was not my intent… Believe it or not, I have a reason for all
> > this.”
> >
> > She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared
> > at
> > him intently.
> >
> > “Jack, do you remember me?”
> >
> > Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. “I think so — I
> > mean
> > you do look familiar.”
> >
> > “I'm a little older perhaps,” she said. “Maybe I've even filled out more
> > than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very
> > door, cold and hungry.”
> >
> > “Ma'am?” the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a
> > magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry..
> >
> > “I was just out of college,” the woman began. “I had come to the city
> > looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my
> > last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the
> > streets
> > for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this
> > place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.”
> >
> > Jack lit up with a smile. “Now I remember,” he said. “I was behind the
> > serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something
> > to
> > eat. I said that it was against company policy.”
> >
> > “I know,” the woman continued. “Then you made me the biggest roast beef
> > sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go
> > over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into
> > trouble. Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my
> > food in the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all
> > right.”
> >
> > “So you started your own business?” Old Jack said.
> >
> > “I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started
> > my own business that, with the help of God, prospered..” She opened her
> > purse and pulled out a business card. “When you are finished here, I want
> > you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my
> > company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll
> > find something for you to do around the office.”
> >
> > She smiled. “I think he might even find the funds to give you a little
> > advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you
> > get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always open to
> > you.”
> >
> > There were tears in the old man's eyes. “How can I ever thank you?” he
> > asked.
> >
> > “Don't thank me,” the woman answered. “To God goes the glory. He led me to
> > you.”
> >
> > Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance
> > before going their separate ways. “Thank you for your help officer,” she
> > said.
> >
> > “On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,” he answered. “Thank you. I saw a miracle
> > today,
> > something that I will never forget, And thank you for the coffee.”
> >
> > Have a Wonderful Day. May God Bless You always and don't forget that when
> > you “cast your bread upon the waters,” you never know how it will be
> > returned to you. God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love
> > and so small He can curl up inside your heart.
> >
> > When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go.
> >
> >
> > Only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or
> > He'll teach you how to fly!
> >
> > The power of one sentence! God is going to shift things around for you
> > today
> > and let things work in your favor. If you believe, send it. If you don't
> > believe, delete it.
> >
> > God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close.
> >
> > If you need God to open some doors for you…send this on.
> >
> > Have a blessed day and> What Goes Around, Comes Around
> >
> > The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer
> > thin
gs of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a
> > meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of
> > him,
> > like so many others had done before..
> >
> > “Leave me alone,” he growled… To his amazement, the woman continued
> > standing. She was smiling — her even white teeth displayed in dazzling
> > rows.
> >
> > “Are you hungry?” she asked. “No,” he answered sarcastically. “I've just
> > come from dining with the president. Now go away.”
> >
> > The woman's smile became even broader.
> >
> > Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. “What are you doing,
> > lady?” the man asked angrily. “I said to leave me alone.”
> >
> > Just then a policeman came up. “Is there any problem, ma'am?” he asked.
> >
> > “No problem here, officer,” the woman answered. “I'm just trying to get
> > this
> > man to his feet. Will you help me?”
> >
> > The officer scratched his head. “That's old Jack. He's been a fixture
> > around
> > here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?”
> >
> > “See that cafeteria over there?” she asked. “I'm going to get him
> > something
> > to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.”
> >
> > “Are you crazy, lady?” the homeless man resisted. “I don't want to go in
> > there!” Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.
> >
> > “Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.”
> >
> > “This is a good deal for you, Jack,” the officer answered. “Don't blow
> > it.”
> >
> > Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got
> > Jack
> > into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the
> > middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and
> > the lunch bunch had not yet arrived.
> >
> > The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. “What's
> > going on here, officer?” he asked. “What is all this, is this man in
> > trouble?”
> >
> > “This lady brought this man in here to be fed,” the policeman answered.
> >
> > “Not in here!” the manager replied angrily. “Having a person like that
> > here
> > is bad for business.”
> >
> > Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. “See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll
> > let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place.”
> >
> > The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. “Sir, are you
> > familiar
> > with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?”
> >
> > “Of course I am,” the manager answered impatiently. “They hold their
> > weekly
> > meetings in one of my banquet rooms.”
> >
> > “And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly
> > meetings?”
> >
> > “What business is that of yours?”
> >
> > I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.”
> >
> > “Oh..”
> >
> > The woman smiled again. “I thought that might make a difference.”
> >
> > She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a laugh. “Would you like to
> > join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?”
> >
> > “No thanks, ma'am,” the officer replied. “I'm on duty.”
> >
> > “Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?”
> >
> > “Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice.”
> >
> > The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. “I'll get your coffee for you
> > right away, officer.”
> >
> > The officer watched him walk away. “You certainly put him in his place,”
> > he
> > said.
> >
> > “That was not my intent… Believe it or not, I have a reason for all
> > this.”
> >
> > She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared
> > at
> > him intently.
> >
> > “Jack, do you remember me?”
> >
> > Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. “I think so — I
> > mean
> > you do look familiar.”
> >
> > “I'm a little older perhaps,” she said. “Maybe I've even filled out more
> > than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very
> > door, cold and hungry.”
> >
> > “Ma'am?” the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a
> > magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry..
> >
> > “I was just out of college,” the woman began. “I had come to the city
> > looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my
> > last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the
> > streets
> > for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this
> > place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.”
> >
> > Jack lit up with a smile. “Now I remember,” he said. “I was behind the
> > serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something
> > to
> > eat. I said that it was against company policy.”
> >
> > “I know,” the woman continued. “Then you made me the biggest roast beef
> > sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go
> > over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into
> > trouble. Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my
> > food in the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all
> > right.”
> >
> > “So you started your own business?” Old Jack said.
> >
> > “I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started
> > my own business that, with the help of God, prospered..” She opened her
> > purse and pulled out a business card. “When you are finished here, I want
> > you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my
> > company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll
> > find something for you to do around the office.”
> >
> > She smiled. “I think he might even find the funds to give you a little
> > advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you
> > get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always open to
> > you.”
> >
> > There were tears in the old man's eyes. “How can I ever thank you?” he
> > asked.
> >
> > “Don't thank me,” the woman answered. “To God goes the glory. He led me to
> > you.”
> >
> > Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance
> > before going their separate ways. “Thank you for your help officer,” she
> > said.
> >
> > “On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,” he answered. “Thank you. I saw a miracle
> > today,
> > something that I will never forget, And thank you for the coffee.”
> >
> > Have a Wonderful Day. May God Bless You always and don't forget that when
> > you “cast your bread upon the waters,” you never know how it will be
> > returned to you. God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love
> > and so small He can curl up inside your heart.
> >
> > When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go.
> >
> >
> > Only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or
> > He'll teach you how to fly!
> >
> > The power of one sentence! God is going to shift things around for you
> > today
> > and let things work in your favor. If you believe, send it. If you don't
> > believe, delete it.
> >
> > God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close.
> >
> > If you need God to open some doors for you…send this on.
> >
> > Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing…
> >
> > Peace and Love IreneGreat story Cindy!
Hi maranatha,
I am also now starting to read the pilgrims progress, the character in the story Christian certainly is determined to get where he wants to get!
My oldest son had come for the weekend with his girlfriend (we have 5 children and he is the oldest 18, youngest is 4). And I have realized today just how much God has worked with me over the last few weeks, I am so much more friendly, kind and patient, (though still very anxious, I suffer from severe anxiety) but iv learnt to live with it. As long as it doesnt become anger, and this i where I have had Gods help. If I feel myself getting a bit boiled up I go away and pray for peace and patience and ask Gods spirit to strengthen me. I have learned (through reading about this in the sheppard of hermas) that in everyone is “the spirit of righteousness” and the other one (I cant remember its name) is angry and all the bad stuff, and that you can control that one, and be filled with the good righteous spirit, and iv learnt to tell the difference, and soon the holy spirit, the good overfills the bad one and it goes away! As long as the good is able to live within, in peace. Which means controlling things like anger and sadness which can be done with the help of God it grows day by day and you become like wow! And that is how I managed to return to what I had, the gifts God had given me before. I dont ever want to lose that again, and I know! with Gods help I can control myself. I see and feel so many changes, and I know you can get there too.:)
Hi karmarie! I am so happy for you, that you have found God or He has found you out. It is so peaceful with Him. You got your hands full with 5 Children. We had 4 and that was enough. When they became Teenagers it is really fun. I worried my Heart out, for our Daughter. Our Sons were a piece of Cake. We now have 7 Grandchildren. We are 71 and my Husband is 72 years old. And you know what, I still get anxious when they go on Vacation etc. Our youngest Grandson is 8 and our oldest is married and is a Math. Teacher and His wife is a Councilor in the same School. Yes I am so proud of their achievements. They however do not have children yet. God is so good and I am for-ever grateful to God for calling us out of the Catholic Church.
Peace and Love Irene
Well, I have figured out what is wrong with me at least.
I have Scrupulosity, which is religious Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It causes a person to obsess over their thoughts about God, salvation, etc, and then compulsively do things over and over to try to fix those thoughts. I have probably asked Jesus to come into my heart and save me about 500 times over the last couple of years! I get the cusswords over and over in my head, and I ask forgiveness over and over, repeat Bible verses in my head, etc. etc.
So now I know what my problem is!
Well, now the good part! I go to a very Spirit filled church, and I know they are so sick of me there for getting saved over and over, crying my eyes out over not knowing if I am saved, obsessing over hell, etc. etc…..
I have had so many people lay hands on me, and so many people who have given me “Words from the Lord” confirming my salvation……
In fact, I had 3 people at one time pray, annointing me with oil, and casting out demons out of me a few nights ago. Each one of them told me that the Lord told them I was saved. I have had many other people tell them that the Lord has confirmed this also.
Well, I told those people praying over me that it does NO good to tell me this if I cannot feel it myself, inside. I need to FEEL God's acceptance, and to FEEL like I am a “new creation” like I used to feel two years ago before these doubts started coming in.
They prayed and prayed, and one lady said that God told her I was saved, but that I had the “strongman” and his demons keeping me from believing it.
They prayed that God would SHOW me, inside that I was saved.
Nothing happened, and I went home depressed.
I went to bed around midnight and went right to sleep……
But then I woke up at 3am for no reason…….but I had PERFECT CLARITY that I was saved! I had utter joy and complete belief in my salvation,and I had TRUE belief that I was a “new creation”!!! I don't know how to describe it other than the fact that, for an entire day, God TOOK AWAY the Scrupulosity and let me KNOW that I was His child!!!!
This lasted an entire day, but I know that I am saved, even though all the doubts and obsessive thoughts are back, and I am still asking Jesus to save me over and over, and to forgive me.
This morning, something else weird happened. I have a lot of papers and books and pens on my nightstand. I was sitting in bed, reading my Bible and praying. There was no fan on in my room……
All of a sudden, for no reason at all, two ink pens laying on my nightstand just literally JUMPED off the stand and landed on the floor. At the same time, an index card FLIPPED onto my bed, almost on my lap. I picked it up and it was Romans 8:38-39 that I had written on it…..
“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
There was no fan blowing in my room this morning. I had not bumped the table, causing the pens and index cards to jump on my bed. I felt no fear, but peace. So I know that it was God who had let this happen because He wanted me to KNOW that the Scrupulosity I have suffered from does NOT separate me from the love of Jesus Christ, my Lord!!
Hallelujah!
Maranatha, I went to sunday school and church as a child (Baptist and Catholic) but for well over 20 years hadnt gone to church nor given God much thought, apart from times when I was facing serious challenges in life and turned to God out of desperation. But I didnt know the bible very well or anything.
A couple of years ago, having teenage children, my daughter had a habit of taking the Lords name in vain, and I had started doing the same in my daily conversations. It became quite bad over a few weeks and I was aware of it.
So one day I was doing something inside housework or something, and this bible verse came into my head. It was a really invasive thought, I went to my sons room to get his bible because I didnt have one. It was in the old testement, and it said..Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. This made me feel a little uneasy! Another verse came into my head as a very invasive thought so I looked it up, it said something about being cursed , my children being cursed. I felt scared! I thought I was doomed! I started to really worry. A while later another verse came into my head which I (reluctantly) looked up. It said …
the Lord disciplines those he loves,
These verses carried on for mounths after mounths, I would pray and ask for answers and there was my answer exactly via bible verses which would come into my head. Allways there every time. And I didnt know the bible so it certainly wasnt memorised or anything. It was amazing. I was being taught by God daily. My relationship grew and grew.
One I will never forget was …I was having a real battle, feeling lost and it was like I was drifting away from God, and I got down on my knees my head to the ground and cried and prayed and I said over and over “I feel so lost, please help me, I am so lost in this world, ” so a verse came into my head and so did a very impatient ” rise, and read” so I read, and it was a story about Zacchaeus a tax collector and I read on through the story and the last line of the story Jesus said …For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost. I was just in tears. Lost! I had just been crying to the Lord that I was lost!
I know the Lord hears our prayers, and I know he watches what we do. And I know it is real. Its not just coincidence, no way! God is really there.
Another thing that happened to me I had some lumps that were on the back of my head and they were really sore. I now know they were probably the glands or something, but I thought it was cancer, I prayed so hard ' begging the Lord to heal me because I didnt want to lose what I had with God and I needed my brain for that! I was told it would go and that id feel a bit sick over the next few days. Sure enougth, for 3 days I suffered severe stomach cramps, as the lumps dissapeared and were gone. Another time, a neighbour was losing his mind, it had been going on for the past year, the police at his place constantly, ambulances etc, one day id had enougth and asked God to heal him. He has lived in peace and quietness ever since. Not another police car nor ambulance even. He is a different person. So many things happened over the years. I could write on and on but all I can say is God is real!! God is right there!Thank you Karmarie, for your testimony-that was awesome! Yes, God DOES hear us and He answers us in so many ways-it's amazing!
That does scare me what you said about the verse about cursing God. I don't do it out loud, but it's constant in my head, along with other horrid thoughts about people that are not in the least bit Christian.
I don't understand how a person can BE a Christian with all these horrid thoughts going on in my head-it baffles me. I don't seem to have changed much, other than stopping a lot of bad things I used to do.
Has anyone else had problems with bad thoughts about God and other people that won't go away?
Dear M,
In a previous post you described yourself as having a religiously based Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Now I don't know if this was tongue in cheek, a serious self diagnosis or the opinion of a professional mental health care provider. It is the nature of OCD to take details which other people find trivial and not let them go. Everyone has bad thoughts some take hold in the garden of our mind and others just drift on by. The idea is not to give them strength by dwelling or obsessing on them. With OCD this is easier said then done. Yet this is a matter of mental health and not religion. Being a Christian has nothing to do with having bad thoughts, it is a matter of what one does with inappropriate thoughts. Also this mind set (OCD)can take hold with other aspects of life like, excessive cleaning or arranging of items. While prayer never hurts, I would think that in your case some psychological counseling with a professional having experience with OCD should also be part of your plan. Your problem is OCD that expresses itself through religion, not with religion or spirituality.
I don't have a problem with cleaning, or washing my hands over and over or physical things like that. Mine is strictly in my mind.
My OCD is called Scrupulosity, and it manifests as obsessing over and over if I am really saved, or if I have sinned. I most certainly do not need to pay a doctor $200 to tell me what I can look up on the internet and compare symptoms with everyone else who has the same condition. lol
The compulsions manifest in me as asking forgiveness over and over for the same thing, cussing God out in my head, and begging Jesus for salvation up to 50 times a day or more.
If I am out somewhere and hear someone say “GD”, it gets stuck in my mind and I'm cussing in my head over and over. It's an obsession.
Or I will read something in the bible that says something like….”For those who draw back, I have no pleasure in them”….and I'll focus on that, wondering if I have somehow “drawn back” from Jesus….and that brings on the compulsion of begging for forgiveness for “drawing back” over and over and over-like God did not hear me the first time when I apologized.
Then I start wondering if I am REALLY saved, if I am cussing over and over in my head (not out loud)…which brings me to asking Jesus into my heart 50 more times in a day.
It's a horrid nightmare.
Either way-God has shown me that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God through Jesus Christ. Not demons or angels, not bipolar disorder, not OCD, not anxiety, not things going on right now, or things that may happen later. NOTHING can separate me from His love.
This has made it easier to cope. I also found out that Martin Luther King and John Bunyon also suffered from this same thing.
A guy from my church was cured from Bipolar disorder years ago, and it never returned. He prayed and prayed for years ,and one day God healed him. Another lady prayed and prayed for her severe anxiety disorder to be healed, and God healed it after many years of trusting Him. Another lady got healed from severe depression. Again, it was God.
I cannot take pharmacutical medicines because I have a lot of food and chemical intolerances. Plus, the side effects are much worse than the disorder. I become suicidal on medicines. I do not trust doctors, and especially not the pharmacutical industry whatsoever, and no money to go to a shrink once a week anyway.
So I am trusting in God to heal me or to give me the grace to make it through my struggles.
Hi Maranatha, keep on trusting Him, and He will heal you, and I agree with you about the side affects on some of the medicines that the doctors want to prescribe is worse than the problem. Sometimes God uses doctors to accomplish a healing, but I cringe every time they advertise a medicine for a certain problem and then go into their spill about the side affects.
Love in Christ,
MartyQuote (942767 @ Aug. 12 2009,16:04) Hi Maranatha, keep on trusting Him, and He will heal you, and I agree with you about the side affects on some of the medicines that the doctors want to prescribe is worse than the problem. Sometimes God uses doctors to accomplish a healing, but I cringe every time they advertise a medicine for a certain problem and then go into their spill about the side affects. Love in Christ,
Marty
You know since I have Lupus, I have to take Medication. If I wouldn't I would die. So in many peoples lives they have to. I also have Diabetes and if I would not take Insulin I would get very sick. So not all Medication are bad, even though they all have side effects. But the benefit for Med. outweighs the side effects, tho. So in conclusion be a little kinder to those that are sick. God has compassion, so we should too.
The elders of the Church where we went laid hands on me many times. I have excepted that God is saying to me, it is sufficient for you. I must have to learn something otherwise He would have taken me Home already.
Peace and Love IreneHi Maranatha ,my partner has to take a strong multivitamin daily (with eg 50mg thiamine, 50mg niacin where the weaker vitamins may have 1 mg of each so dont help much), and if he doesnt take them he suffers what APPEARS to be bipolar (severe moodswings, confusion, etc -put him in hospital twice). On top of that he has complex post traumatic stress disorder. The vitamins keep him sane, he holds down a good job, etc. Thinks straight and clearly. Has done for 3 years now.
Despite people's anecdotal evidence of spiritual healing, only a fool would rely on such without looking for more temporal help as well. If your problem is religious obsession why rely only on that very same source of obsession for a cure? Scrupulosity is usually treated by cognitive behavior therapy, not drugs. In the United Kingdom, the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence recommends CBT as the treatment of choice for a number of mental health difficulties, including post-traumatic stress disorder, OCD, bulimia nervosa and clinical depression. So trust that God gave you a brain and intellect to go get help from your fellow man. Rather then expecting a divine miracle cure look to seeking help that can in the mean time alleviate or help you cope with what evidently is a long term problem. This would include trained mental health professionals.
Quote (Cindy @ Aug. 12 2009,16:18) Quote (942767 @ Aug. 12 2009,16:04) Hi Maranatha, keep on trusting Him, and He will heal you, and I agree with you about the side affects on some of the medicines that the doctors want to prescribe is worse than the problem. Sometimes God uses doctors to accomplish a healing, but I cringe every time they advertise a medicine for a certain problem and then go into their spill about the side affects. Love in Christ,
Marty
You know since I have Lupus, I have to take Medication. If I wouldn't I would die. So in many peoples lives they have to. I also have Diabetes and if I would not take Insulin I would get very sick. So not all Medication are bad, even though they all have side effects. But the benefit for Med. outweighs the side effects, tho. So in conclusion be a little kinder to those that are sick. God has compassion, so we should too.
The elders of the Church where we went laid hands on me many times. I have excepted that God is saying to me, it is sufficient for you. I must have to learn something otherwise He would have taken me Home already.
Peace and Love Irene
Hi Mrs:I am sorry if I offended you, but what I have stated is true. I said that “sometimes the medicine that doctors want to prescribe is worse than the problem”. I said “sometimes”, and I did not tell you not to take the medication that doctors have prescribed for your Lupus and your diabetes.
I had to take blood pressure medication at one time until I learned proper diet and excercise, and so, sometimes it is necessary to take the medication temporarily, but I won't take the medication unless I absolutely have to take it.
In the case of Maranatha, we are talking about a mental oppression, and not a physical condition such as yours.
Love in Christ,
MartyQuote (942767 @ Aug. 13 2009,11:13) Quote (Cindy @ Aug. 12 2009,16:18) Quote (942767 @ Aug. 12 2009,16:04) Hi Maranatha, keep on trusting Him, and He will heal you, and I agree with you about the side affects on some of the medicines that the doctors want to prescribe is worse than the problem. Sometimes God uses doctors to accomplish a healing, but I cringe every time they advertise a medicine for a certain problem and then go into their spill about the side affects. Love in Christ,
Marty
You know since I have Lupus, I have to take Medication. If I wouldn't I would die. So in many peoples lives they have to. I also have Diabetes and if I would not take Insulin I would get very sick. So not all Medication are bad, even though they all have side effects. But the benefit for Med. outweighs the side effects, tho. So in conclusion be a little kinder to those that are sick. God has compassion, so we should too.
The elders of the Church where we went laid hands on me many times. I have excepted that God is saying to me, it is sufficient for you. I must have to learn something otherwise He would have taken me Home already.
Peace and Love Irene
Hi Mrs:I am sorry if I offended you, but what I have stated is true. I said that “sometimes the medicine that doctors want to prescribe is worse than the problem”. I said “sometimes”, and I did not tell you not to take the medication that doctors have prescribed for your Lupus and your diabetes.
I had to take blood pressure medication at one time until I learned proper diet and excercise, and so, sometimes it is necessary to take the medication temporarily, but I won't take the medication unless I absolutely have to take it.
In the case of Maranatha, we are talking about a mental oppression, and not a physical condition such as yours.
Love in Christ,
Marty
Marty! Sorry I jumped to conclusion. It is a very sensitive subject for me. I don't like to take steroids and I have told some Doctors off, since He lied to me. I called and ask a Druggist about a certain type of Steroid and I got the answer that it was. The Doctor had said that it was not a Steroid. Needless to say I don't see that Doctor no more.
As far as Maranatha is concerned, She has a bad case of depression and some times Medication does help for a short time. I can't even imagine what She is going through. To curse God out is a really bad thing to do.IMO
Peace and Love IreneQuote (Cindy @ Aug. 13 2009,11:38) Quote (942767 @ Aug. 13 2009,11:13) Quote (Cindy @ Aug. 12 2009,16:18) Quote (942767 @ Aug. 12 2009,16:04) Hi Maranatha, keep on trusting Him, and He will heal you, and I agree with you about the side affects on some of the medicines that the doctors want to prescribe is worse than the problem. Sometimes God uses doctors to accomplish a healing, but I cringe every time they advertise a medicine for a certain problem and then go into their spill about the side affects. Love in Christ,
Marty
You know since I have Lupus, I have to take Medication. If I wouldn't I would die. So in many peoples lives they have to. I also have Diabetes and if I would not take Insulin I would get very sick. So not all Medication are bad, even though they all have side effects. But the benefit for Med. outweighs the side effects, tho. So in conclusion be a little kinder to those that are sick. God has compassion, so we should too.
The elders of the Church where we went laid hands on me many times. I have excepted that God is saying to me, it is sufficient for you. I must have to learn something otherwise He would have taken me Home already.
Peace and Love Irene
Hi Mrs:I am sorry if I offended you, but what I have stated is true. I said that “sometimes the medicine that doctors want to prescribe is worse than the problem”. I said “sometimes”, and I did not tell you not to take the medication that doctors have prescribed for your Lupus and your diabetes.
I had to take blood pressure medication at one time until I learned proper diet and excercise, and so, sometimes it is necessary to take the medication temporarily, but I won't take the medication unless I absolutely have to take it.
In the case of Maranatha, we are talking about a mental oppression, and not a physical condition such as yours.
Love in Christ,
Marty
Marty! Sorry I jumped to conclusion. It is a very sensitive subject for me. I don't like to take steroids and I have told some Doctors off, since He lied to me. I called and ask a Druggist about a certain type of Steroid and I got the answer that it was. The Doctor had said that it was not a Steroid. Needless to say I don't see that Doctor no more.
As far as Maranatha is concerned, She has a bad case of depression and some times Medication does help for a short time. I can't even imagine what She is going through. To curse God out is a really bad thing to do.IMO
Peace and Love Irene
Hi Mrs:She isn't cursing God as I understand her. These are thoughts coming through her mind.
Love in Christ,
Marty
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
