Marriage or Remarriage

[Anonymous]

I have just recently professed at age 45.  I have been married, divorced(he is still living), and lived common law this relationship ended because of a car accident and now I am single again.  I did not know the scripture or the law reguarding marriage.  I am a middle aged women who does not wish to remain alone.  Because of my ignorance and my past – can I marry again or do I have to wait until my first husband passes away.

[Anonymous]

Also, first husband who is still alive had numerous affairs, did not support his family as a man should.

[Lightenup]

Hi Karen,
Welcome to Heaven Net:)
As far as I understand Biblical teaching here…I would have to say that, because of your x-husband's adultery, and then your divorce from him you are released from your obligations to him and free to marry. Paul says here that, in his opinion, you should not seek a mate but if you marry you have not sinned. I think differently if there was no adultery. Here is the passage that I am talking about:

1 Cor 7:27-29
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.
NASU

This is a hard topic to wrestle with. The main thing for you to do is to grow in your new relationship with the Lord Jesus and our Heavenly Father and devote yourself to that. God can fill that lonely place in your heart. If He leads you to another man, another believer ONLY, and you both feel led to commit to a holy marriage for life, then I believe you are free to do that.

1 Cor 7:34-35
The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
NASU

Maybe others on here will have some better insight, and possibly with experience like yours.

God bless you Karen,
Kathi

[NickHassan]

Hi and welcome Karen,
Nothing matters now or any day except whether or not you have entered the kingdom of God.
That is what we first seek and everything else is added to us.[Mt6]
All must repent and come to Jesus to be reborn.

God starts TODAY with everybody no matter what they have come through.
All of us have spent time in the pigsty before we started walking and He came to meet us[Lk15]

This is the sin that matters.
Jn16
9Of sin, because they believe not on me;

[Proclaimer]

Quote (Karen @ Feb. 15 2009,16:04)

Also, first husband who is still alive had numerous affairs, did not support his family as a man should.

It is written that marital unfaithfulness is grounds for divorce.

Matthew 5:32
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

There is also a teaching about an unbelieving partner that leaves you.

1 Corinthians 7:14-15
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

[Stu]

Quote (Nick Hassan @ Feb. 15 2009,16:55)

All of us have spent time in the pigsty before we started walking and He came to meet us[Lk15]

I didn't realise all christians had to walk in a pigsty. I assume that is not a Jewish tradition.

Stuart

[SEEKING]

Karen,

You encourage us all with your recent profession of faith.

It is good to seek advice as a new believer and weigh it carefully.  A passage I have found God to be faithful to
is found in the Amplified version and reads like this:

Colossians 3:15 (Amplified Bible)
And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].

Listen for God's answer to you as you read the word and weigh our input.  Let Him be the umpire, not us.  He will speak to you in your heart when you are sincere in your waiting on Him.

Be comfortable in yourself with your decision.  Your decisons must come from your faith  or they can trouble you later (Rom 14:23  But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.)  

While this applied specifically to food in the passage, I believe wider application can be made to our benefit.

I would suggest – stay single, do not seek a relationship immediately,  ask what part you may have played in the failure of past relationships, know that the Lord will be faithful to leead you to the right mate.

I agree with Nick that you have a new beginning.  The past is forgiven where forgiveness is needed.  Now you can begin your new walk.

This is lengthy but I trust helpful.

Stay in prayer!

Seeking

[charity]

Oh dear Marriage oaths abuse the over sincere heart

the written words tie you to the chair then untie your hands, and tie up your feet, gag you up, and then set you free, st you down till you just confused to understand..the words come from either the heart that personally never wanted to be left or the heart that desires to free to be loved again.
-charity

[Proclaimer]

Quote (Stu @ Feb. 15 2009,20:42)

Quote (Nick Hassan @ Feb. 15 2009,16:55) All of us have spent time in the pigsty before we started walking and He came to meet us[Lk15]   I didn't realise all christians had to walk in a pigsty.  I assume that is not a Jewish tradition. Stuart

Often a person does not know he is in one until he sees something better. Perhaps you haven't seen anything better Stuart? So what may be a pigsty to one might be normal to another who hasn't seen better.

If you cannot understand this, I will use symbolism that you may understand. What is home to one, might be a monkey cage to another.

[charity]

okay so if you finally arrive at my/our understanding then  you have come from out from the pigsty?

how the hang is that fair and just .. we have unorganized adolescent reading  mans ego trips an hogwash….can you know the path if you haven't walked it yet, not even Jesus did?

Let me see
you can't understand,
spit in the dirt  smear all over your eyes

came from God….believe not enough?
This sounds Like day light mockery…
a left handed spanner in the works

truly as truth
words only
to mare an image till unrecognizable.
and all it dose is captivate the public
for centroids…
of many moons after.
-charity

[942767]

Quote (Karen @ Feb. 15 2009,15:51)

I have just recently professed at age 45.  I have been married, divorced(he is still living), and lived common law this relationship ended because of a car accident and now I am single again.  I did not know the scripture or the law reguarding marriage.  I am a middle aged women who does not wish to remain alone.  Because of my ignorance and my past – can I marry again or do I have to wait until my first husband passes away.

Hi Karen:

Were you a Christian during your first marriage? If not, then that was not a marriage ordained by God.

Was the person that you were living with killed in this car accident?

Here is the scripture:

Quote

1Cr 7:10 And unto the married I command, [yet] not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from [her] husband: 1Cr 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife. (The foregoing verses of scripture apply to a Christian couple.) 1Cr 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 1Cr 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 1Cr 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 1Cr 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace. 1Cr 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save [thy] husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save [thy] wife? (The remaining scriptures here apply when one of the partners in a marriage is a Christian and the other is not)

[Stu]

Quote (t8 @ Feb. 16 2009,19:50)

Quote (Stu @ Feb. 15 2009,20:42) Quote (Nick Hassan @ Feb. 15 2009,16:55) All of us have spent time in the pigsty before we started walking and He came to meet us[Lk15]   I didn't realise all christians had to walk in a pigsty.  I assume that is not a Jewish tradition. Stuart Often a person does not know he is in one until he sees something better. Perhaps you haven't seen anything better Stuart? So what may be a pigsty to one might be normal to another who hasn't seen better. If you cannot understand this, I will use symbolism that you may understand. What is home to one, might be a monkey cage to another.

You have conflated seeing something better in an improved domestic situation with seeing christianity as a better option than whatever were one's beliefs before.

So a person could climb out of a home situation that is a pigsty into a better one, but how is christianity any less of a pigsty?

Oscar Wilde's phrase “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars” springs to mind, to which I might add that some of us can barely see out of the gutter let alone to the stars because there is a book of scripture obscuring the view.

Stuart

[Proclaimer]

Quote (charity @ Feb. 17 2009,11:43)

okay so if you finally arrive at my/our understanding then  you have come from out from the pigsty? how the hang is that fair and just .. we have unorganized adolescent reading  mans ego trips an hogwash….can you know the path if you haven't walked it yet, not even Jesus did? Let me see you can't understand, spit in the dirt  smear all over your eyes came from God….believe not enough? This sounds Like day light mockery… a left handed spanner in the works truly as truth words only to mare an image till unrecognizable. and all it dose is captivate the public for centroids… of many moons after. -charity

Any dwelling or will but the one God has for us is never going to be the same quality is it?

[Admin]

Moved to this forum because it is more appropriate.

[Author]

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