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Any husband can work to give stuff to his wife; but God isn’t talking about working for stuff when he is speaking of loving our wives. No, rather He is telling husbands to GIVE OF THEMSELVES (Eph 5:25). Why are husbands to give of themselves? So that their wives might be sanctified by the word of God (5:26). We are to be known by our fruit (Mt 7:16 & 20). We husbands know nothing of love, unless we know that love edifies, (meaning;- build our wives up in the word of God) (1 Cor 8:1-2).
This is why we husbands are to love (Rom 13:9). We are withholding ourselves in love from our wives, when we rather lust after them; and feed their lusty consumerism. Note: If any man looks upon a woman to lust after her; then he is committing adultery with her (Mt 5:28). Meaning;- a lusty man cannot be a loving husband, although he might be otherwise giving her everything that she wants, he is nevertheless taking love from her and can only feed her lusts. For those who are into satisfying lusts through the obtaining of things that are asked for, which are consumed, these are spiritual adulterers, who are in friendship with the world; and are the enemies of God (Jm 4:3-4).
Those who are here are the proud whom God resists; and they are not those who are the humble, which are given more grace (4:6). We need to be given more grace to be able to ask for what we truly need, so that we could love. Without which we cannot become the friends of our wives, and we will become self-defensive toward them, for an unloved woman becomes odious (hateful) (Prov 30:23). With knowledge, I withheld the loving affection that would have cherished and nourished my wife, and this made me into a hater of my wife (Eph 5:29). And yet the whole point for a man being joined with a woman is to love her in an edifying manner (5:31).
Although this is a great mystery in Christ, when it is concerning the church (5:33), it is nevertheless common knowledge for husbands with their wives. The reward for loving a wife within the appointed means, which are called to cherish and nourish, is that the wife will reverence her loving husband. (5:33). But I was too busy washing and cleaning myself to bother with my wife’s need for true spiritual helpfulness. In this self-love, I had forgotten my responsibility to love my wife as I was loving myself (5:28).
Rather than building her up in the word of God, I was actively putting her down through my words, so that I could be lifted up. I was into the mischievous vanity of sowing discord in my own home, because I could only speak negatively of my wife through one-sided arguments, which were little more than backbiting slander. This type of man is in the pride of his own will, which is the boast that blesses self (over others (Ps 10:4-3)We need to understand what the will of the Lord is: so that we 1. Would not be so unwise (as to put lust in place of love); and so that we 2. Could redeem our time (Eph 5:17-16); And no one can do the will of God, unless they know the doctrine of God (Jn 7:17 cf Heb 6:1; 2Jn 1:9);
If you lack this wisdom, ask of God:- For it [wisdom in this understanding] shall be given unto you abundantly (Jm 1:5); Remember we ask amiss, and cannot receive (this wisdom in it’s teaching), if we are 1 into our own lusts (4:3); and 2 into our own will (4:13); Meaning; we are rather into devilish wisdom (3:15); Meaning; we are rather into a dead faith (2:17); Meaning; we are rather into the fashionable grace, which will perish! (1:11); Remember all of this wisdom is given unto us, because of the longsuffering of our Lord, which is for salvation (2Pet 3:15); Remember our will IS the evil boasting, which is sin unto death (4:13 & 16-17);
In the formation of our own lusts, we can only bring forth this sin (of being self-willed), which when finished brings forth death (1:15); Rather be by grace through faith IN the gift of God’s workmanship, which can create us in Christ Jesus without our works (of lust), or this foolish boasting (of our own will moving us unto God in Christ) (Eph 2:8-10). Rather have the desire of those who were humbled within the Lord is their King, which is to have your heart prepared through an ear that can hear that we cannot be of those men who oppress others (through our own ways); for we would then perish (because of our own will being accomplished for our own selfish pleasures, at the expense of those in need) (Ps 10:16-18); Without which we are merely {evil} “self-moved” men, who are likened after the wicked heathen (10:15-16).
TO BE A DEVOURER is to be someone who is into swallowing others up, as one who is drinking puts down an empty glass after he is satisfied. When we take, and take, and take [love] from people, instead of giving [love] unto them, this is how we destroy them! Even if we are giving them everything [stuff] that they want, we can still destroy them if we don’t give them what they NEED [loving edification]. This devouring of people is likened after the drowning of them in what they don’t need (2Cor 5:4).Ultimately this devouring work is in the workmanship of the devil, who is walking about seeking whom he may devour. (1Pet 5:8) This devouring is the work of a wolf, who is after the spoil (Gen 49:27); This is done for revenge (Deut 32:42);
This devouring comes upon those who trust thorny grounders (Jg 9:15); This is likened after the overthrowing devouring unto desolation (Is 1:7); Which devouring is accomplished with the mouth (9:12); All who thus devour offend the Lord and He will bring evil upon them (Jer 2:3); All those who are (remain) proud will fall (from faith), if this devouring comes about them (50:32). Those who turn away from this truth, (even by treating it lightly), will be given over to stories, rather than sound doctrine (2Tim 4:4-3). Now I see that all through my life I had used money to buy loyalty, acceptance, and respect within my relationships. I had been deceived into thinking that my wife’s reverence could be purchased. Rather I was feeding the lust of covetousness.
My marriage failed because I couldn’t make an emotional connection with my wife. In place of this I lavished money and stuff upon her. This is merely the way of a man with an adulterous woman. (Pr 30:19-20).Please don’t come to where I have been: attempting to capture the hearts of others within the things that money can buy rather than with the love that can build them up. Without the discovery of this truth, I would have continued in my self-willed iniquity in my own way until my death. This ministry is dedicated to my ex-wife, who courageously continued to point out my sin despite overwhelming resistance. ONLY LOVE NEVER FAILS (1 Cor 13:4-8, Eph 5:11-13)
Zteberean Very interesting article. Not to many man understand that logic of loving their wife's. That is why we have so many divorces in the United States. Most woman do look at how many material things they can get.
My Husband and I have been married for 47 years, while our Children talk about divorce. America has gotten to be a land of buy now and worry about it later or not at all, then they end up augmenting about money, because they cannot make ends meet. Under that pressure, and the pressure of bringing up children, the marriage collapses. There is no for better or for worse, only better counts.
Encouraging each other in a marriage is also a must. Especially when trials come along. i do agree what you write about the Husband is to love their wife's, but it goes both ways. You cannot have a lopsided relationship. Each has to do their part. Giving up should not be an opinion at all. That is not what God wants.
You could also relate this with the relationship we have with God and our Savior Jesus Christ. If we always take of God's love and never give back and work on overcoming self, it does not work. The greatest commandments that God has given us is, to love God with all of our heart and our neighbor as thyself.
Do you know your neighbor? I can tell you, the answer in most cases is no. But then I do get reminded by God, that we are in the end time, and things will get worse, before Jesus makes all right.
To that day I can't wait.
Peace and Love IreneQuote (Ztheberean @ Sep. 11 2008,02:36) Any husband can work to give stuff to his wife; but God isn’t talking about working for stuff when he is speaking of loving our wives. No, rather He is telling husbands to GIVE OF THEMSELVES (Eph 5:25). Why are husbands to give of themselves? So that their wives might be sanctified by the word of God (5:26). We are to be known by our fruit (Mt 7:16 & 20). We husbands know nothing of love, unless we know that love edifies, (meaning;- build our wives up in the word of God) (1 Cor 8:1-2). This is why we husbands are to love (Rom 13:9). We are withholding ourselves in love from our wives, when we rather lust after them; and feed their lusty consumerism. Note: If any man looks upon a woman to lust after her; then he is committing adultery with her (Mt 5:28). Meaning;- a lusty man cannot be a loving husband, although he might be otherwise giving her everything that she wants, he is nevertheless taking love from her and can only feed her lusts. For those who are into satisfying lusts through the obtaining of things that are asked for, which are consumed, these are spiritual adulterers, who are in friendship with the world; and are the enemies of God (Jm 4:3-4).
Those who are here are the proud whom God resists; and they are not those who are the humble, which are given more grace (4:6). We need to be given more grace to be able to ask for what we truly need, so that we could love. Without which we cannot become the friends of our wives, and we will become self-defensive toward them, for an unloved woman becomes odious (hateful) (Prov 30:23). With knowledge, I withheld the loving affection that would have cherished and nourished my wife, and this made me into a hater of my wife (Eph 5:29). And yet the whole point for a man being joined with a woman is to love her in an edifying manner (5:31).
Although this is a great mystery in Christ, when it is concerning the church (5:33), it is nevertheless common knowledge for husbands with their wives. The reward for loving a wife within the appointed means, which are called to cherish and nourish, is that the wife will reverence her loving husband. (5:33). But I was too busy washing and cleaning myself to bother with my wife’s need for true spiritual helpfulness. In this self-love, I had forgotten my responsibility to love my wife as I was loving myself (5:28).
Rather than building her up in the word of God, I was actively putting her down through my words, so that I could be lifted up. I was into the mischievous vanity of sowing discord in my own home, because I could only speak negatively of my wife through one-sided arguments, which were little more than backbiting slander. This type of man is in the pride of his own will, which is the boast that blesses self (over others (Ps 10:4-3)We need to understand what the will of the Lord is: so that we 1. Would not be so unwise (as to put lust in place of love); and so that we 2. Could redeem our time (Eph 5:17-16); And no one can do the will of God, unless they know the doctrine of God (Jn 7:17 cf Heb 6:1; 2Jn 1:9);
If you lack this wisdom, ask of God:- For it [wisdom in this understanding] shall be given unto you abundantly (Jm 1:5); Remember we ask amiss, and cannot receive (this wisdom in it’s teaching), if we are 1 into our own lusts (4:3); and 2 into our own will (4:13); Meaning; we are rather into devilish wisdom (3:15); Meaning; we are rather into a dead faith (2:17); Meaning; we are rather into the fashionable grace, which will perish! (1:11); Remember all of this wisdom is given unto us, because of the longsuffering of our Lord, which is for salvation (2Pet 3:15); Remember our will IS the evil boasting, which is sin unto death (4:13 & 16-17);
In the formation of our own lusts, we can only bring forth this sin (of being self-willed), which when finished brings forth death (1:15); Rather be by grace through faith IN the gift of God’s workmanship, which can create us in Christ Jesus without our works (of lust), or this foolish boasting (of our own will moving us unto God in Christ) (Eph 2:8-10). Rather have the desire of those who were humbled within the Lord is their King, which is to have your heart prepared through an ear that can hear that we cannot be of those men who oppress others (through our own ways); for we would then perish (because of our own will being accomplished for our own selfish pleasures, at the expense of those in need) (Ps 10:16-18); Without which we are merely {evil} “self-moved” men, who are likened after the wicked heathen (10:15-16).
TO BE A DEVOURER is to be someone who is into swallowing others up, as one who is drinking puts down an empty glass after he is satisfied. When we take, and take, and take [love] from people, instead of giving [love] unto them, this is how we destroy them! Even if we are giving them everything [stuff] that they want, we can still destroy them if we don’t give them what they NEED [loving edification]. This devouring of people is likened after the drowning of them in what they don’t need (2Cor 5:4).Ultimately this devouring work is in the workmanship of the devil, who is walking about seeking whom he may devour. (1Pet 5:8) This devouring is the work of a wolf, who is after the spoil (Gen 49:27); This is done for revenge (Deut 32:42);
This devouring comes upon those who trust thorny grounders (Jg 9:15); This is likened after the overthrowing devouring unto desolation (Is 1:7); Which devouring is accomplished with the mouth (9:12); All who thus devour offend the Lord and He will bring evil upon them (Jer 2:3); All those who are (remain) proud will fall (from faith), if this devouring comes about them (50:32). Those who turn away from this truth, (even by treating it lightly), will be given over to stories, rather than sound doctrine (2Tim 4:4-3). Now I see that all through my life I had used money to buy loyalty, acceptance, and respect within my relationships. I had been deceived into thinking that my wife’s reverence could be purchased. Rather I was feeding the lust of covetousness.
My marriage failed because I couldn’t make an emotional connection with my wife. In place of this I lavished money and stuff upon her. This is merely the way of a man with an adulterous woman. (Pr 30:19-20).Please don’t come to where I have been: attempting to capture the hearts of others within the things that money can buy rather than with the love that can build them up. Without the discovery of this truth, I would have continued in my self-willed iniquity in my own way until my death. This ministry is dedicated to my ex-wife, who courageously continued to point out my sin despite overwhelming resistance. ONLY LOVE NEVER FAILS (1 Cor 13:4-8, Eph 5:11-13)
Hi Zeb:Thanks for sharing your testimony with us. I am sure that it will help others. Is there any chance for a second chance with your ex-wife? God is a God of second chances. We all make mistakes, and hopefully, we learn from them.
Quote 1Cr 13:4 Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
1Cr 13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
1Cr 13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
1Cr 13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
1Cr 13:8 Charity never faileth: but whether [there be] prophecies, they shall fail; whether [there be] tongues, they shall cease; whether [there be] knowledge, it shall vanish away.Ztheberean………. Its to bad we were not better educated on how relationships work with our wifes and husbands, I fell into many of those things myself and regret them all the time. Divorce is very hard on children and each other as well. I think men in there late thirties and early forties do go through a midlife crises , i know i did and it did effect me in my life. My suggestion to all who are having trouble in their relationships is to try to work it out not matter what , except for extreme physical or mental abuse . It is amazing who time can change a bad relationship into a good one. Both need to forgive adjust and move on together is at all possible.
God bless you and Help you Zthebrean……………..gene
Quote (Gene Balthrop @ Sep. 12 2008,05:20) Ztheberean………. Its to bad we were not better educated on how relationships work with our wifes and husbands, I fell into many of those things myself and regret them all the time. Divorce is very hard on children and each other as well. I think men in there late thirties and early forties do go through a midlife crises , i know i did and it did effect me in my life. My suggestion to all who are having trouble in their relationships is to try to work it out not matter what , except for extreme physical or mental abuse . It is amazing who time can change a bad relationship into a good one. Both need to forgive adjust and move on together is at all possible. God bless you and Help you Zthebrean……………..gene
Gen For once I agree with you 100% and you gave good advice.
Irene
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