I'll never be the same

[melissahyatt8]

I’ll never be the same
By Melissa Hyatt

How do I begin to tell my story? I was saved twice in this lifetime and I’ll never be the same again. God almighty is the only one that could have saved me. I was the youngest of three in our home and growing up was very chaotic, strict, violent and controlling. There was emotionally and physical abuse. At the age of 13, I was molested. I started drinking and having sex by the age of 14. By the time I was 16, I ran away from home in gang activity and I found myself in horribly abusive relationships. By the time I was 18, a trusted friend betrayed me and I was drugged and became the victim of rape by her step father. I was experimenting with drugs and smoking pot on regular bases. I was introduced to smoking crack cocaine at the age of 18 and battled this drug off and on for the next 17 years of my life. Crack cocaine would haunt me from the moment I tried it. I have tried every drug imaginable and stayed an addict for the next 17 years of my life. I have battled anorexia, bulimia, binging and purging all my life. Oh, the pressure to be thin. I was a binge drinker, social drinker an alcoholic.
I have battled depression, along with paranoia, suicide, panic attacks, anxiety, obsession compulsive disorder, anger, self-mutilation, low self esteem, social disorder, nervousness, and sleeping disorders.
At age 19 I had an abortion and became very sick from it and was hospitalized. I thought God was punishing me for what I had done, I ask God to forgive me for the next 15 years. I rationalized the fact that I would have abused the baby anyway, which got me through the guilt. My drug use was getting worse and I was in a car wreck and was taken to jail for a DUI in my early 20’s. I tried desperately to clean myself up but it was useless, I couldn’t get by living in this world without a crutch. I was drinking heavily and using drugs one night and I overdosed. I had an out of body experience and I’ll never be the same. My soul was so sick and my body was so chemically addicted to so many things. I wanted sobriety so bad, I starting cutting on myself. It seemed like after my out of body experience I got worse before I got better. It seemed like the demons within magnified. I was out of control. I would use and use and use and throw up and keep using. I couldn’t stop and the cravings were horrible. I didn’t care if I died using, I couldn’t stop. I also hid my addiction from my family and the past years of being a functioning addict was no longer working for me. It was controlling me now.
After my husband caught me cutting on myself, I knew my soul was screaming for help and I decided to go to out patient services. I went a few times, but the night you had to tell your life’s story, I was unprepared to deal with my emotions, I had suppressed them. I couldn’t tell anyone, it hurt too much, so I left and I was still using drugs. Something inside of me was different. My face looked different and I was speaking of God often and even my neighbor notice a change in how I looked. I was directed to the Purpose Driven Life book by Rick Warren in Wal-mart one evening and it answered a lot of life’s questions that I had, especially about God. My grandmother had taken us to church growing up and accepted Jesus into my heart at 4 years old, but the God that was taught to me was distant and out of reach. I thought we were just here to fend for ourselves in whatever our lot was in life. God started to heal me, cleaning me up little by little revealing truths about my life to me which helped me understand the emotional pain I had and all the hurt I had been through. I gave up everything for the love Jesus was showing me. God took away all my cravings and desires for drugs and I emerged myself in God’s word and prayer. I was trusting God for my healing. When I read the bible the words literally jumped off the page at me.
My spirit became my intercessor and was speaking for me when I didn’t know what to pray for; I didn’t understand my pain and what was happening to me. When God was stripping my heart and melting away all the hardness that had built up from the hurt I endured and unrepenative sin, it was almost unbearable. I was shaking and weeping uncontrollably and unknown words and groans came pouring out of me. I was completely in the power and in the presence of God and I will never be the same. I read the bible for hours, days, weeks, months, years and I prayed nonstop on my knee’s, on my face, crying to God. I didn’t want to stop. I felt like I was in hell and that God was so far away from me. I would scream for Him to come get me. I knew God was helping me because He loved me even, though I didn’t love myself. God would pour His love into my soul so profoundly, I could hardly breathe. This is heaven. I was drunk with love. I couldn’t think straight and I was sick with love for Jesus and my Heavenly Father. It is a euphoria I am unable to describe.
God wanted me in spite of all the mistakes I had made. I couldn’t see past the enormous pain I was encountering, my soul ached and I was ready to cut my heart right out of my chest it hurt so bad, but Jesus was right by my side comforting me and loving me, teaching me, and speaking to me in a gentle, loving voice. The things God was showing me was so overwhelming that the biggest ache was the regret of not knowing more about Jesus than what I did. I was so far from the Truth.
I am in God’s rest now and God promised me that no one would ever hurt me again. I want to live this time around for God’s purpose and to raise my daughter and show her the love and goodness of God that He continually shows me openly. And to want life because Jesus gave it back to me along with my faith. I have a very intimate relationship with Jesus and my Heavenly Father through the gift of enormous pain, a gift no one wants, but it was worth every step. I am awake and my eyes are opened to the Truth. I hear things I’ve never heard before and I see things in the unseen. My peace is doing God’s will for my life and finding ways to love Him and love others. I am free from the bondage of the world’s expectations and sin. I still struggle with my weight, but I’m not giving up on me ever! You have peace and joy that does surpass all understanding. You are so filled with love that you could care less of what happened to you and the stupid mistakes that you made along the way and you understand that it was God’s great plan for your life. God gives you an understanding of your painful past and how good and evil works, my soul has had a taste of hell and no one should have to go there. I want to help in God’s Kingdom in any way I can to take what the devil meant for bad and use it for good.
God has given me a renewed sound mind, a new heart, a healed soul and a new body in Christ filled with the Holy Spirit!
I have been living a pure life devoted to My Lord Jesus, madly in Love and a blazing flame for Him for over 4 years and I wouldn’t want it any other way and I desire nothing else for my life but Jesus.
You are never too far away by too many mistakes and nothing is impossible to God. I am thankful for all that I’ve been through and what it took to get where I am. I count all my sufferings and trials up as gain and all my mistakes as lessons learned. I have wisdom you can’t pay for. I am controlled by nothing and led by love and life keeps getting better and better. I spend every moment thanking, praising and worshipping my Lord and I love it. I am currently going to college for a BS in Biblical Studies. I am a minister and serve the Lord faithfully sharing the love of Jesus to whomever I can and what Jesus did for me.

[Worshipping Jesus]

Quote (melissahyatt8 @ June 03 2009,19:10)

I’ll never be the same By Melissa Hyatt How do I begin to tell my story? I was saved twice in this lifetime and I’ll never be the same again. God almighty is the only one that could have saved me. I was the youngest of three in our home and growing up was very chaotic, strict, violent and controlling. There was emotionally and physical abuse. At the age of 13, I was molested. I started drinking and having sex by the age of 14. By the time I was 16, I ran away from home in gang activity and I found myself in horribly abusive relationships. By the time I was 18, a trusted friend betrayed me and I was drugged and became the victim of rape by her step father. I was experimenting with drugs and smoking pot on regular bases. I was introduced to smoking crack cocaine at the age of 18 and battled this drug off and on for the next 17 years of my life. Crack cocaine would haunt me from the moment I tried it. I have tried every drug imaginable and stayed an addict for the next 17 years of my life. I have battled anorexia, bulimia, binging and purging all my life. Oh, the pressure to be thin. I was a binge drinker, social drinker an alcoholic. I have battled depression, along with paranoia, suicide, panic attacks, anxiety, obsession compulsive disorder, anger, self-mutilation, low self esteem, social disorder, nervousness, and sleeping disorders. At age 19 I had an abortion and became very sick from it and was hospitalized. I thought God was punishing me for what I had done, I ask God to forgive me for the next 15 years. I rationalized the fact that I would have abused the baby anyway, which got me through the guilt. My drug use was getting worse and I was in a car wreck and was taken to jail for a DUI in my early 20’s. I tried desperately to clean myself up but it was useless, I couldn’t get by living in this world without a crutch. I was drinking heavily and using drugs one night and I overdosed. I had an out of body experience and I’ll never be the same. My soul was so sick and my body was so chemically addicted to so many things. I wanted sobriety so bad, I starting cutting on myself. It seemed like after my out of body experience I got worse before I got better. It seemed like the demons within magnified. I was out of control. I would use and use and use and throw up and keep using. I couldn’t stop and the cravings were horrible. I didn’t care if I died using, I couldn’t stop. I also hid my addiction from my family and the past years of being a functioning addict was no longer working for me. It was controlling me now. After my husband caught me cutting on myself, I knew my soul was screaming for help and I decided to go to out patient services. I went a few times, but the night you had to tell your life’s story, I was unprepared to deal with my emotions, I had suppressed them. I couldn’t tell anyone, it hurt too much, so I left and I was still using drugs. Something inside of me was different. My face looked different and I was speaking of God often and even my neighbor notice a change in how I looked. I was directed to the Purpose Driven Life book by Rick Warren in Wal-mart one evening and it answered a lot of life’s questions that I had, especially about God. My grandmother had taken us to church growing up and accepted Jesus into my heart at 4 years old, but the God that was taught to me was distant and out of reach. I thought we were just here to fend for ourselves in whatever our lot was in life. God started to heal me, cleaning me up little by little revealing truths about my life to me which helped me understand the emotional pain I had and all the hurt I had been through. I gave up everything for the love Jesus was showing me. God took away all my cravings and desires for drugs and I emerged myself in God’s word and prayer. I was trusting God for my healing.  When I read the bible the words literally jumped off the page at me. My spirit became my intercessor and was speaking for me when I didn’t know what to pray for; I didn’t understand my pain and what was happening to me. When God was stripping my heart and melting away all the hardness that had built up from the hurt I endured and unrepenative sin, it was almost unbearable. I was shaking and weeping uncontrollably and unknown words and groans came pouring out of me. I was completely in the power and in the presence of God and I will never be the same. I read the bible for hours, days, weeks, months, years and I prayed nonstop on my knee’s, on my face, crying to God. I didn’t want to stop. I felt like I was in hell and that God was so far away from me. I would scream for Him to come get me.  I knew God was helping me because He loved me even, though I didn’t love myself. God would pour His love into my soul so profoundly, I could hardly breathe. This is heaven. I was drunk with love. I couldn’t think straight and I was sick with love for Jesus and my Heavenly Father. It is a euphoria I am unable to describe. God wanted me in spite of all the mistakes I had made. I couldn’t see past the enormous pain I was encountering, my soul ached and I was ready to cut my heart right out of my chest it hurt so bad, but Jesus was right by my side comforting me and loving me, teaching me, and speaking to me in a gentle, loving voice. The things God was showing me was so overwhelming that the biggest ache was the regret of not knowing more about Jesus than what I did. I was so far from the Truth. I am in God’s rest now and God promised me that no one would ever hurt me again. I want to live this time around for God’s purpose and to raise my daughter and show her the love and goodness of God that He continually shows me openly. And to want life because Jesus gave it back to me along with my faith. I have a very intimate relationship with Jesus and my Heavenly Father through the gift of enormous pain, a gift no one wants, but it was worth every step. I am awake and my eyes are opened to the Truth. I hear things I’ve never heard before and I see things in the unseen. My peace is doing God’s will for my life and finding ways to love Him and love others. I am free from the bondage of the world’s expectations and sin. I still struggle with my weight, but I’m not giving up on me ever! You have peace and joy that does surpass all understanding. You are so filled with love that you could care less of what happened to you and the stupid mistakes that you made along the way and you understand that it was God’s great plan for your life. God gives you an understanding of your painful past and how good and evil works, my soul has had a taste of hell and no one should have to go there. I want to help in God’s Kingdom in any way I can to take what the devil meant for bad and use it for good. God has given me a renewed sound mind, a new heart, a healed soul and a new body in Christ filled with the Holy Spirit! I have been living a pure life devoted to My Lord Jesus, madly in Love and a blazing flame for Him for over 4 years and I wouldn’t want it any other way and I desire nothing else for my life but Jesus. You are never too far away by too many mistakes and nothing is impossible to God. I am thankful for all that I’ve been through and what it took to get where I am. I count all my sufferings and trials up as gain and all my mistakes as lessons learned. I have wisdom you can’t pay for. I am controlled by nothing and led by love and life keeps getting better and better. I spend every moment thanking, praising and worshipping my Lord and I love it. I am currently going to college for a BS in Biblical Studies. I am a minister and serve the Lord faithfully sharing the love of Jesus to whomever I can and what Jesus did for me.

Hi Melissa Hyatt

Welcome!

I rejoic
e in your new found Love with God.

What a great testimony! I noticed you mentioned Jesus coming into your heart and living in you and speaking to you as well as the Father and the Holy Spirit.

Careful, many here will seek to take away your Joy and Love relationship with Jesus by telling you things like, you cant pray to or worship Jesus for he is not your God or your only Sovereign and Lord. They claim they serve more than one master when Jesus said you cant serve more that one master!

Jude warns us of men who deny the Lord that bought them.

For certain men whose condemnation was written about* long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are godless men, who change the grace of our God into a license for immorality “and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord. Jude 1:4

They will tell you things like you are not to give the same honour to Jesus that you give to the Father!

Again, Welcome and Blessings WJ

[Lightenup]

Hi Melissa,
Welcome and thank you for sharing your powerful testimony. I am happy for your zeal for the Lord and your pursuit of a BS in Biblical Studies. This verse came to my mind while reading your story:

Luke 7:47
47 “For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”
NASU

Melissa, I'm glad that you have found Heaven Net and I hope we can help you in your walk with the Lord.

Love in Christ,
Lightenup/LU/Kathi

[942767]

Hi Melissa:

Thanks for sharing your testimony with me. I pray that God will bless you and your family.

Love in Christ,
Marty

[NickHassan]

Quote (WorshippingJesus @ June 04 2009,12:19)

Quote (melissahyatt8 @ June 03 2009,19:10) I’ll never be the same By Melissa Hyatt How do I begin to tell my story? I was saved twice in this lifetime and I’ll never be the same again. God almighty is the only one that could have saved me. I was the youngest of three in our home and growing up was very chaotic, strict, violent and controlling. There was emotionally and physical abuse. At the age of 13, I was molested. I started drinking and having sex by the age of 14. By the time I was 16, I ran away from home in gang activity and I found myself in horribly abusive relationships. By the time I was 18, a trusted friend betrayed me and I was drugged and became the victim of rape by her step father. I was experimenting with drugs and smoking pot on regular bases. I was introduced to smoking crack cocaine at the age of 18 and battled this drug off and on for the next 17 years of my life. Crack cocaine would haunt me from the moment I tried it. I have tried every drug imaginable and stayed an addict for the next 17 years of my life. I have battled anorexia, bulimia, binging and purging all my life. Oh, the pressure to be thin. I was a binge drinker, social drinker an alcoholic. I have battled depression, along with paranoia, suicide, panic attacks, anxiety, obsession compulsive disorder, anger, self-mutilation, low self esteem, social disorder, nervousness, and sleeping disorders. At age 19 I had an abortion and became very sick from it and was hospitalized. I thought God was punishing me for what I had done, I ask God to forgive me for the next 15 years. I rationalized the fact that I would have abused the baby anyway, which got me through the guilt. My drug use was getting worse and I was in a car wreck and was taken to jail for a DUI in my early 20’s. I tried desperately to clean myself up but it was useless, I couldn’t get by living in this world without a crutch. I was drinking heavily and using drugs one night and I overdosed. I had an out of body experience and I’ll never be the same. My soul was so sick and my body was so chemically addicted to so many things. I wanted sobriety so bad, I starting cutting on myself. It seemed like after my out of body experience I got worse before I got better. It seemed like the demons within magnified. I was out of control. I would use and use and use and throw up and keep using. I couldn’t stop and the cravings were horrible. I didn’t care if I died using, I couldn’t stop. I also hid my addiction from my family and the past years of being a functioning addict was no longer working for me. It was controlling me now. After my husband caught me cutting on myself, I knew my soul was screaming for help and I decided to go to out patient services. I went a few times, but the night you had to tell your life’s story, I was unprepared to deal with my emotions, I had suppressed them. I couldn’t tell anyone, it hurt too much, so I left and I was still using drugs. Something inside of me was different. My face looked different and I was speaking of God often and even my neighbor notice a change in how I looked. I was directed to the Purpose Driven Life book by Rick Warren in Wal-mart one evening and it answered a lot of life’s questions that I had, especially about God. My grandmother had taken us to church growing up and accepted Jesus into my heart at 4 years old, but the God that was taught to me was distant and out of reach. I thought we were just here to fend for ourselves in whatever our lot was in life. God started to heal me, cleaning me up little by little revealing truths about my life to me which helped me understand the emotional pain I had and all the hurt I had been through. I gave up everything for the love Jesus was showing me. God took away all my cravings and desires for drugs and I emerged myself in God’s word and prayer. I was trusting God for my healing.  When I read the bible the words literally jumped off the page at me. My spirit became my intercessor and was speaking for me when I didn’t know what to pray for; I didn’t understand my pain and what was happening to me. When God was stripping my heart and melting away all the hardness that had built up from the hurt I endured and unrepenative sin, it was almost unbearable. I was shaking and weeping uncontrollably and unknown words and groans came pouring out of me. I was completely in the power and in the presence of God and I will never be the same. I read the bible for hours, days, weeks, months, years and I prayed nonstop on my knee’s, on my face, crying to God. I didn’t want to stop. I felt like I was in hell and that God was so far away from me. I would scream for Him to come get me.  I knew God was helping me because He loved me even, though I didn’t love myself. God would pour His love into my soul so profoundly, I could hardly breathe. This is heaven. I was drunk with love. I couldn’t think straight and I was sick with love for Jesus and my Heavenly Father. It is a euphoria I am unable to describe. God wanted me in spite of all the mistakes I had made. I couldn’t see past the enormous pain I was encountering, my soul ached and I was ready to cut my heart right out of my chest it hurt so bad, but Jesus was right by my side comforting me and loving me, teaching me, and speaking to me in a gentle, loving voice. The things God was showing me was so overwhelming that the biggest ache was the regret of not knowing more about Jesus than what I did. I was so far from the Truth. I am in God’s rest now and God promised me that no one would ever hurt me again. I want to live this time around for God’s purpose and to raise my daughter and show her the love and goodness of God that He continually shows me openly. And to want life because Jesus gave it back to me along with my faith. I have a very intimate relationship with Jesus and my Heavenly Father through the gift of enormous pain, a gift no one wants, but it was worth every step. I am awake and my eyes are opened to the Truth. I hear things I’ve never heard before and I see things in the unseen. My peace is doing God’s will for my life and finding ways to love Him and love others. I am free from the bondage of the world’s expectations and sin. I still struggle with my weight, but I’m not giving up on me ever! You have peace and joy that does surpass all understanding. You are so filled with love that you could care less of what happened to you and the stupid mistakes that you made along the way and you understand that it was God’s great plan for your life. God gives you an understanding of your painful past and how good and evil works, my soul has had a taste of hell and no one should have to go there. I want to help in God’s Kingdom in any way I can to take what the devil meant for bad and use it for good. God has given me a renewed sound mind, a new heart, a healed soul and a new body in Christ filled with the Holy Spirit! I have been living a pure life devoted to My Lord Jesus, madly in Love and a blazing flame for Him for over 4 years and I wouldn’t want it any other way and I desire nothing else for my life but Jesus. You are never too far away by too many mistakes and nothing is impossible to God. I am thankful for all that I’ve been through and what it took to get where I am. I count all my sufferings and trials up as gain and all my mistakes as lessons learned. I have wisdom you can’t pay for. I am controlled by nothing and led by love and life keeps getting better and better. I spend every moment thanking, praising and worshipping my Lord and I love it. I am currently going to college for a BS in B iblical Studies. I am a minister and serve the Lord faithfully sharing the love of Jesus to whomever I can and what Jesus did for me. Hi Melissa Hyatt Welcome! I rejoice in your new found Love with God. What a great testimony! I noticed you mentioned Jesus coming into your heart and living in you and speaking to you as well as the Father and the Holy Spirit. Careful, many here will seek to take away your Joy and Love relationship with Jesus by telling you things like, you cant pray to or worship Jesus for he is not your God or your only Sovereign and Lord. They claim they serve more than one master when Jesus said you cant serve more that one master! Jude warns us of men who deny the Lord that bought them. For certain men whose condemnation was written about* long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are godless men, who change the grace of our God into a license for immorality “and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord. Jude 1:4 They will tell you things like you are not to give the same honour to Jesus that you give to the Father! Again, Welcome and Blessings WJ

Hi WJ,
And the circling birds try to snatch the seed
or are they vultures?

Thanks for the testimony MH but strange gods that WJ offers are anathema.

[Worshipping Jesus]

Quote (Nick Hassan @ June 03 2009,23:09)

Quote (WorshippingJesus @ June 04 2009,12:19) Quote (melissahyatt8 @ June 03 2009,19:10) I’ll never be the same By Melissa Hyatt How do I begin to tell my story? I was saved twice in this lifetime and I’ll never be the same again. God almighty is the only one that could have saved me. I was the youngest of three in our home and growing up was very chaotic, strict, violent and controlling. There was emotionally and physical abuse. At the age of 13, I was molested. I started drinking and having sex by the age of 14. By the time I was 16, I ran away from home in gang activity and I found myself in horribly abusive relationships. By the time I was 18, a trusted friend betrayed me and I was drugged and became the victim of rape by her step father. I was experimenting with drugs and smoking pot on regular bases. I was introduced to smoking crack cocaine at the age of 18 and battled this drug off and on for the next 17 years of my life. Crack cocaine would haunt me from the moment I tried it. I have tried every drug imaginable and stayed an addict for the next 17 years of my life. I have battled anorexia, bulimia, binging and purging all my life. Oh, the pressure to be thin. I was a binge drinker, social drinker an alcoholic. I have battled depression, along with paranoia, suicide, panic attacks, anxiety, obsession compulsive disorder, anger, self-mutilation, low self esteem, social disorder, nervousness, and sleeping disorders. At age 19 I had an abortion and became very sick from it and was hospitalized. I thought God was punishing me for what I had done, I ask God to forgive me for the next 15 years. I rationalized the fact that I would have abused the baby anyway, which got me through the guilt. My drug use was getting worse and I was in a car wreck and was taken to jail for a DUI in my early 20’s. I tried desperately to clean myself up but it was useless, I couldn’t get by living in this world without a crutch. I was drinking heavily and using drugs one night and I overdosed. I had an out of body experience and I’ll never be the same. My soul was so sick and my body was so chemically addicted to so many things. I wanted sobriety so bad, I starting cutting on myself. It seemed like after my out of body experience I got worse before I got better. It seemed like the demons within magnified. I was out of control. I would use and use and use and throw up and keep using. I couldn’t stop and the cravings were horrible. I didn’t care if I died using, I couldn’t stop. I also hid my addiction from my family and the past years of being a functioning addict was no longer working for me. It was controlling me now. After my husband caught me cutting on myself, I knew my soul was screaming for help and I decided to go to out patient services. I went a few times, but the night you had to tell your life’s story, I was unprepared to deal with my emotions, I had suppressed them. I couldn’t tell anyone, it hurt too much, so I left and I was still using drugs. Something inside of me was different. My face looked different and I was speaking of God often and even my neighbor notice a change in how I looked. I was directed to the Purpose Driven Life book by Rick Warren in Wal-mart one evening and it answered a lot of life’s questions that I had, especially about God. My grandmother had taken us to church growing up and accepted Jesus into my heart at 4 years old, but the God that was taught to me was distant and out of reach. I thought we were just here to fend for ourselves in whatever our lot was in life. God started to heal me, cleaning me up little by little revealing truths about my life to me which helped me understand the emotional pain I had and all the hurt I had been through. I gave up everything for the love Jesus was showing me. God took away all my cravings and desires for drugs and I emerged myself in God’s word and prayer. I was trusting God for my healing.  When I read the bible the words literally jumped off the page at me. My spirit became my intercessor and was speaking for me when I didn’t know what to pray for; I didn’t understand my pain and what was happening to me. When God was stripping my heart and melting away all the hardness that had built up from the hurt I endured and unrepenative sin, it was almost unbearable. I was shaking and weeping uncontrollably and unknown words and groans came pouring out of me. I was completely in the power and in the presence of God and I will never be the same. I read the bible for hours, days, weeks, months, years and I prayed nonstop on my knee’s, on my face, crying to God. I didn’t want to stop. I felt like I was in hell and that God was so far away from me. I would scream for Him to come get me.  I knew God was helping me because He loved me even, though I didn’t love myself. God would pour His love into my soul so profoundly, I could hardly breathe. This is heaven. I was drunk with love. I couldn’t think straight and I was sick with love for Jesus and my Heavenly Father. It is a euphoria I am unable to describe. God wanted me in spite of all the mistakes I had made. I couldn’t see past the enormous pain I was encountering, my soul ached and I was ready to cut my heart right out of my chest it hurt so bad, but Jesus was right by my side comforting me and loving me, teaching me, and speaking to me in a gentle, loving voice. The things God was showing me was so overwhelming that the biggest ache was the regret of not knowing more about Jesus than what I did. I was so far from the Truth. I am in God’s rest now and God promised me that no one would ever hurt me again. I want to live this time around for God’s purpose and to raise my daughter and show her the love and goodness of God that He continually shows me openly. And to want life because Jesus gave it back to me along with my faith. I have a very intimate relationship with Jesus and my Heavenly Father through the gift of enormous pain, a gift no one wants, but it was worth every step. I am awake and my eyes are opened to the Truth. I hear things I’ve never heard before and I see things in the unseen. My peace is doing God’s will for my life and finding ways to love Him and love others. I am free from the bondage of the world’s expectations and sin. I still struggle with my weight, but I’m not giving up on me ever! You have peace and joy that does surpass all understanding. You are so filled with love that you could care less of what happened to you and the stupid mistakes that you made along the way and you understand that it was God’s great plan for your life. God gives you an understanding of your painful past and how good and evil works, my soul has had a taste of hell and no one should have to go there. I want to help in God’s Kingdom in any way I can to take what the devil meant for bad and use it for good. God has given me a renewed sound mind, a new heart, a healed soul and a new body in Christ filled with the Holy Spirit! I have been living a pure life devoted to My Lord Jesus, madly in Love and a blazing flame for Him for over 4 years and I wouldn’t want it any other way and I desire nothing else for my life but Jesus. You are never too far away by too many mistakes and nothing is impossible to God. I am thankful for all that I’ve been through and what it took to get where I am. I count all my sufferings and trials up as gain and all my mistakes as lessons learned. I have wisdom yo u can’t pay for. I am controlled by nothing and led by love and life keeps getting better and better. I spend every moment thanking, praising and worshipping my Lord and I love it. I am currently going to college for a BS in Biblical Studies. I am a minister and serve the Lord faithfully sharing the love of Jesus to whomever I can and what Jesus did for me. Hi Melissa Hyatt Welcome! I rejoice in your new found Love with God. What a great testimony! I noticed you mentioned Jesus coming into your heart and living in you and speaking to you as well as the Father and the Holy Spirit. Careful, many here will seek to take away your Joy and Love relationship with Jesus by telling you things like, you cant pray to or worship Jesus for he is not your God or your only Sovereign and Lord. They claim they serve more than one master when Jesus said you cant serve more that one master! Jude warns us of men who deny the Lord that bought them. For certain men whose condemnation was written about* long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are godless men, who change the grace of our God into a license for immorality “and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord. Jude 1:4 They will tell you things like you are not to give the same honour to Jesus that you give to the Father! Again, Welcome and Blessings WJ Hi WJ, And the circling birds try to snatch the seed or are they vultures? Thanks for the testimony MH but strange gods that WJ offers are anathema.

Hi Melissa

See what I mean.

I dont think that I said anything to steal away the seed of God in your life.

But, again may the Lord keep you as you endeavor to draw even closer to him.

Blessings WJ

[Cindy]

Hi Melissa! Welcome to Heaven Net Forum. Wow you went through a lot. I am so happy for you that you have found God and Jesus our Savior. Thank you so much for sharing your Story with us.
Bless you and your Family.

Peace and Love Irene

[Anonymous]

I think that was a great testimony. I wouldn’t worry too much about others trying to shake your faith Jesus has a way of letting you know when you are being exposed to false doctrine. I often wonder why unsaved people think they can get a saved person to believe that there was no experience with Jesus Christ in which to accept salvation. I just figure the harder they resist the closer they are to believing. Than Christ can go tag you’re it, your turn to spread the word.

TechJoe

[rancherforChrist]

Quote (melissahyatt8 @ June 03 2009,16:10)

I’ll never be the same By Melissa Hyatt How do I begin to tell my story? I was saved twice in this lifetime and I’ll never be the same again. God almighty is the only one that could have saved me. I was the youngest of three in our home and growing up was very chaotic, strict, violent and controlling. There was emotionally and physical abuse. At the age of 13, I was molested. I started drinking and having sex by the age of 14. By the time I was 16, I ran away from home in gang activity and I found myself in horribly abusive relationships. By the time I was 18, a trusted friend betrayed me and I was drugged and became the victim of rape by her step father. I was experimenting with drugs and smoking pot on regular bases. I was introduced to smoking crack cocaine at the age of 18 and battled this drug off and on for the next 17 years of my life. Crack cocaine would haunt me from the moment I tried it. I have tried every drug imaginable and stayed an addict for the next 17 years of my life. I have battled anorexia, bulimia, binging and purging all my life. Oh, the pressure to be thin. I was a binge drinker, social drinker an alcoholic. I have battled depression, along with paranoia, suicide, panic attacks, anxiety, obsession compulsive disorder, anger, self-mutilation, low self esteem, social disorder, nervousness, and sleeping disorders. At age 19 I had an abortion and became very sick from it and was hospitalized. I thought God was punishing me for what I had done, I ask God to forgive me for the next 15 years. I rationalized the fact that I would have abused the baby anyway, which got me through the guilt. My drug use was getting worse and I was in a car wreck and was taken to jail for a DUI in my early 20’s. I tried desperately to clean myself up but it was useless, I couldn’t get by living in this world without a crutch. I was drinking heavily and using drugs one night and I overdosed. I had an out of body experience and I’ll never be the same. My soul was so sick and my body was so chemically addicted to so many things. I wanted sobriety so bad, I starting cutting on myself. It seemed like after my out of body experience I got worse before I got better. It seemed like the demons within magnified. I was out of control. I would use and use and use and throw up and keep using. I couldn’t stop and the cravings were horrible. I didn’t care if I died using, I couldn’t stop. I also hid my addiction from my family and the past years of being a functioning addict was no longer working for me. It was controlling me now. After my husband caught me cutting on myself, I knew my soul was screaming for help and I decided to go to out patient services. I went a few times, but the night you had to tell your life’s story, I was unprepared to deal with my emotions, I had suppressed them. I couldn’t tell anyone, it hurt too much, so I left and I was still using drugs. Something inside of me was different. My face looked different and I was speaking of God often and even my neighbor notice a change in how I looked. I was directed to the Purpose Driven Life book by Rick Warren in Wal-mart one evening and it answered a lot of life’s questions that I had, especially about God. My grandmother had taken us to church growing up and accepted Jesus into my heart at 4 years old, but the God that was taught to me was distant and out of reach. I thought we were just here to fend for ourselves in whatever our lot was in life. God started to heal me, cleaning me up little by little revealing truths about my life to me which helped me understand the emotional pain I had and all the hurt I had been through. I gave up everything for the love Jesus was showing me. God took away all my cravings and desires for drugs and I emerged myself in God’s word and prayer. I was trusting God for my healing.  When I read the bible the words literally jumped off the page at me. My spirit became my intercessor and was speaking for me when I didn’t know what to pray for; I didn’t understand my pain and what was happening to me. When God was stripping my heart and melting away all the hardness that had built up from the hurt I endured and unrepenative sin, it was almost unbearable. I was shaking and weeping uncontrollably and unknown words and groans came pouring out of me. I was completely in the power and in the presence of God and I will never be the same. I read the bible for hours, days, weeks, months, years and I prayed nonstop on my knee’s, on my face, crying to God. I didn’t want to stop. I felt like I was in hell and that God was so far away from me. I would scream for Him to come get me.  I knew God was helping me because He loved me even, though I didn’t love myself. God would pour His love into my soul so profoundly, I could hardly breathe. This is heaven. I was drunk with love. I couldn’t think straight and I was sick with love for Jesus and my Heavenly Father. It is a euphoria I am unable to describe. God wanted me in spite of all the mistakes I had made. I couldn’t see past the enormous pain I was encountering, my soul ached and I was ready to cut my heart right out of my chest it hurt so bad, but Jesus was right by my side comforting me and loving me, teaching me, and speaking to me in a gentle, loving voice. The things God was showing me was so overwhelming that the biggest ache was the regret of not knowing more about Jesus than what I did. I was so far from the Truth. I am in God’s rest now and God promised me that no one would ever hurt me again. I want to live this time around for God’s purpose and to raise my daughter and show her the love and goodness of God that He continually shows me openly. And to want life because Jesus gave it back to me along with my faith. I have a very intimate relationship with Jesus and my Heavenly Father through the gift of enormous pain, a gift no one wants, but it was worth every step. I am awake and my eyes are opened to the Truth. I hear things I’ve never heard before and I see things in the unseen. My peace is doing God’s will for my life and finding ways to love Him and love others. I am free from the bondage of the world’s expectations and sin. I still struggle with my weight, but I’m not giving up on me ever! You have peace and joy that does surpass all understanding. You are so filled with love that you could care less of what happened to you and the stupid mistakes that you made along the way and you understand that it was God’s great plan for your life. God gives you an understanding of your painful past and how good and evil works, my soul has had a taste of hell and no one should have to go there. I want to help in God’s Kingdom in any way I can to take what the devil meant for bad and use it for good. God has given me a renewed sound mind, a new heart, a healed soul and a new body in Christ filled with the Holy Spirit! I have been living a pure life devoted to My Lord Jesus, madly in Love and a blazing flame for Him for over 4 years and I wouldn’t want it any other way and I desire nothing else for my life but Jesus. You are never too far away by too many mistakes and nothing is impossible to God. I am thankful for all that I’ve been through and what it took to get where I am. I count all my sufferings and trials up as gain and all my mistakes as lessons learned. I have wisdom you can’t pay for. I am controlled by nothing and led by love and life keeps getting better and better. I spend every moment thanking, praising and worshipping my Lord and I love it. I am currently going to college for a BS in Biblical Studies. I am a minister and serve the Lord faithfully sharing the love of Jesus to whomever I can and what Jesus did for me.

Wow Melissa,

Wha
t an amazing testimony. I understand your deep love for the Lord and your devotion to Him. Praise Jesus!

Love ya,
Chris

[terraricca]

hi Mel
it is always good to ear changes of haerth ,most of us went trough to live aventures before recognising God way.
for those of us who understand wath God has done for us and now that we have approached him through is word,we realy see how much we owe him ,and it bring a stronger tie between God and us,this is how the love of God works

[Author]

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