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Hi
Today I had a really interesting experience. Whilst debating with Nick over the Sabbath I broke down into tears. Here is a copy of the message I sent him…
Quote I am sad and I am happy LOL weird I know but let me explain. I didnt want to post this in the thread but I dont mind if you think I should. Anyway… Since my first post on page 11…. I broke down in tears. Or maybe it was your post after it. Im not sure. Im still crying now. But then… I was crying and so deeply hurt but it wasnt my hurt… does that make sense to you? I wasnt crying because of what you said. I was crying because I felt like I was hurting because you werent listening with your heart. It felt like God was hurting or maybe Jesus. This was not completely my feelings and i know this for sure.
It took me a little while to post the next message i put there because of me crying. I had to get off the chair to try and understand why i was crying because I know it wasnt me. It just came out of me. I think i honestly felt sooo close to them. God and Jesus. Im not sure. But anyway.. i came back to the chair then slowly (in between blubbering I have never cried like this since when my heart was broken by my ex 7 years ago. LOL)
Anyway after posting my second message on that page.. I had to get off and have a little more cry and make me a coffee so that i could try and calm down a little.
Then next the phone rang for me. I went to WINZ yesterday to tell them that Im sick of not working and not having any luck with getting a job. However, 3 weeks ago I think, I applied for a case managers job there. And that phone I got just before was for an appointment for an Interview. Of course I couldnt say right there and then “Father is this for me?” lol so I immediately said yes. Its a case manager for people with disabilities or invalids benefits. =) So Im really excited too!! and thanked Father for it and jumped on my bed and buried my head in the pilllows and cried and praised love to them lol. *sigh*
But yeah… I think Jesus or God is trying to tell me something here mate. Do you think?
Hugs
PhoenixThat experience was about 11am today. About 12pm I finished my last cigarette I had left in my packet. Since then I decided right this time I will give up.
All day I been feeling really weird. “vibrational”.
The odd time through that I wanted to have a cigarette but I then Id find something to take my mind off it. This lasted till 7pm tonight when i decided right Im going to the shop i need a smoke. Got the shop got smokes came home and I tripped walking back inside. I kinda thought hmm maybe a sign.
I went outside lit the smoke and after a few puffs I felt that feeling that i been feeling all day leave me. And immediately guilt set in. I feel so bad now. Im sure that was the holy spirit i was experiencing. But I dont know. I thought we had to be baptised so I wasnt sure.
after that I went to my bedroom and prayed my apology. I was so sorry. That I hope that I dont touch another cigarette again.
Hugs
PhoenixHi P,
God sometimes chooses to give the Spirit before you are baptised in water but still obey as Peter told Cornelius and his friends. Feed on the word and praise your God with your heart and mind and tongue.Hi phoenix
Your really beating up on yourself arn't you. Giving up our addictions is never easy, but Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30………”Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light”
We have to be patient and wait on God. Have you made contact with any other Christians yet, because it would be really good for you to have a women believer to walk with you for awhile like a mentor, we are meant to be in fellowship, this is where we are uplifted and encouraged when we hit bottom, the important thing is to get back up and trust in Jesus.
Sunday is the day I keep totally for God.
I personnally don't think it matters to God which day, as long as we keep one day out of the seven.
God bless.Hi Deb
Yes I do beat myself up a lot. BEcause I KNOW I can do better than I do now. Saturday is my personal Day for God regardless of the time I spend every day of the week with him. But I'm not claiming I am righteous either because I have a long way to go for that LOL.
I wont find a female mentor till I find someone that has the same beliefs as me. The other lady and I have both agreed to stop study because of this. I found out later that the church they are in are an open brethren of protestantism, lutheran, and a few others but I dont remember what they were.
But anyway, what I really wanted to know was….. is this what the Holy Spirit supposed to feel like? Was this the HS that I experienced and so on.
Hugs
Phoenix
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