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Family Law around the world needs serious reform. Many are not aware today that fathers have few rights in today’s society.
While in the past it was taboo to have one parent in a family, today it almost seems encouraged. With financial incentives, some in society are willing to sleep around, get pregnant, cast the father out of the child’s life in any way possible, but keeping him close enough so he has to pay financial support. It’s a scam and often the vindictive ex is then free to ride off into the sunset with a measure of financial support and children to keep her company. While this sort of immorality is not committed by most, there are enough father’s out there today going through nasty custody disputes promulgate by a vindictive ex, the result is an alarming suicide rate among alienated fathers.
A vindictive ex can arise from a number of situations. It could also be that the father originally committing adultery leaving the woman extremely hurt. In seeking revenge, the ex then decides to not only divorce her husband, but then take it too far and deny the dad access to his own children. Today’s family court system is setup to allow this abuse to happen. While some men couldn’t care less about their kids, this is devastating on men who love their children and this can ultimately lead to suicide. Whatever the reason that a woman leaves her partner, alienating her kids from their father is wrong. It is an evil thing to deny a Father access to his own children, just as evil in fact as denying the mother access to her children.
Of course there are certain cases where a parent is a real danger to their children, but I am not obviously talking about those rare instances. By and large society today has little appreciation and regard for fatherhood. Family courts the world over are stacked against these fathers. Courts can aid in this alienation with their stance of being considered guilty unless proven innocent which can cost the father tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars. Many fathers just can’t afford a good defence and have to admit defeat and try and carry on with life without their kids. But even wealthy fathers can be bled dry of their money in defending themselves and then the courts use that against them saying they do nto have the means to look after their kids.
While thankfully I personally haven’t experienced anything like this, God seems to have put this injustice on my heart in the last year or so. I pray that there will be some real changes in the family courts around the world. I pray in Jesus name that fatherhood will get the honour and respect it deserves. I pray that father’s will be allowed access to their own kids in cases where a vindictive ex is trying to alienate the father. I pray that the system will stop allowing greedy women to treat men like checkbooks and to get away with perjury.
Fatherhood is important. God is a father and he has children. I believe that those who deny fathers access to their own kids, are in danger of serious judgement. The god of this age hates the one true God and hates fatherhood because God is a father. It is also important for all involved, the husband, wife, and children that fairness and justice is served if a family is going to break up. Treating the father as a money reserve with access to his kids is abuse. Men have feelings and they are just as capable as loving their children as their mom. Although I would say that a woman who alienates he ex from his kids for personal gain does not really love her children that much. Kids need their dads and statistically kids who have no father are more inclined to find themselves on the bad side of the law. Watch this video.
In the following posts, I will will cite real stories of fathers who are victims of this inadequate system. Some of these stories are very sad and include suicide. So be warned. But I hope you too can care for those going through this and pray for these people. They really need all the help and support they can get.
B.C. man pleads for family court reform in suicide note
The horror shows that emerge from Canada’s family courts, those aggressive high-conflict battles that can go on for years, are often complicated and nuanced.
Jeramey A.’s story — Postmedia isn’t using his last name because two of his young children carry it — is certainly one such.
It involves an ex-wife and two daughters, a former fiancée and a young son, and a current wife named Angela.
But a couple of things are straightforward and clear.
On March 8, Jeramey finally signed off on the July 11, 2016, order from B.C. Supreme Court Judge B.J. Brown.
He unsuccessfully had applied for an order varying the amount of child and spousal support he had to pay his former wife, a total of $6,500 a month. She in turn was seeking he be found in contempt of another order and fined an additional $10,000; the judge adjourned those issues.
Another woman, with whom he’d been briefly engaged and fathered a son after his divorce, was seeking retroactive and ongoing child support for their son.
Both those applications were successful, bringing his total child and spousal debt to about $8,000 a month, but then, in fairness, that woman is herself a family court lawyer.
Early on the morning of March 9, Jeramey apparently rigged his truck so that when he drove down an embankment at the end of Page Road in Abbotsford, B.C., his neck would break.
In a scrawled and bloody suicide note found in the truck, he wrote: “FAMILY LAW NEEDS REFORM. I recommend mandated lower costs and less reward for false claims of abuse. Parental Alienation is devastating. I loved my children as much as a husband and father could. I see no light. Recommend; an authority consistent during high conflict separations: It is exploited in family law.
“Sorry Dad and Angie. I’m very sorry.”
He was 45 years old when he died, and as his current wife, Angie, told Postmedia in a telephone interview from B.C. Tuesday, “He had a hard life. He could not catch a break.”
Born into a Jehovah’s Witness family, he was kicked out when he was a teenager, lived with his grandmother and was basically cut off from everyone else in his family.
He was married the first time for almost eight years.
The woman accused him of assault, he was arrested, the charges eventually stayed. But, of course, he had to pay for a criminal lawyer to defend him.
This double whammy — a spouse making criminal allegations while custody and access applications are underway in family court — is known, Angie said, as “the silver bullet.”
Jeramey had a company that built cellphone towers and microwave dishes in B.C. and the north; the business dried up about the time of his divorce, when fibre optics took over.
In the end, he had declared bankruptcy, though the judge was sceptical that he really was bankrupt and imputed an income of $181,400 to him. He paid more than $330,000, Angela said, in legal fees.
He was in arrears, owed money to almost everyone.
B.C.’s Family Maintenance and Enforcement Program was chasing him, because while he always paid something in support, it wasn’t what the court had ordered, and FMEP was moving to take away his driver’s licence and passport for failing to meet his financial obligations, Angela said. His ex was going to get his pension, if and when he retired.
He hadn’t seen his daughters, now about eight and 10, for almost 11 months. They were, Angela said, completely alienated from him. He never got to see his son by the lawyer.
In October last year, he was jailed for non-payment of support and breaching court orders. This strapping man had never been in jail before and was terrified.
Angela knew he was in despair, but weeps that she didn’t realize the depths of it. “I just didn’t know,” she sobbed on the phone. “If he could have seen those girls, he could have handled all this …
“His bank accounts were locked, he lost his homes, his vehicle, his business. You emasculate a man and take away his ability to provide … he’s a human being. He has limits.”
The two had known one another as teenagers and reconnected in 2014; they married on Valentine’s Day the next year. Jeramey was completely honest with her: “He told me everything,” she said. “I knew what I was getting into.”
They were in court, for one thing or another, almost every month, Angie said. “Knowing you owe so much money, and they’re taking your passport and driver’s licence, your pension is ours … On top of that, seeing what it was doing to me, not seeing his daughters … he was in despair, an emasculated man in despair.
“He thought he was burdening me,” she sobbed. “ ‘You’ll love me until we’re old, you didn’t ask for this. You deserve more,’ but I didn’t want more, I wanted him.”
Two days before he died, Jeramey wrote his lawyer: “I’m tired … Not only have I lost my children which by itself has torn me into two, but I have lost all my assets in life … The level of cruelty brought on by what could have been a simple divorce was and still is mind blowing and I’m simply not the same person I was, and I expect I’ll never see that person again.”
At his memorial service, his best friend gave the eulogy and said, in part, that family courts and spousal support in particular “creates an artificial right to another person’s successes.”
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